shutter stage // caleb & snowman

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shutter stage // caleb & snowman Nov 15, 2020 17:01:26 GMT -5

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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2020 17:01:26 GMT -5

c a l e b .

"you are weak
but not foolish
you have learned
how to die."

It's night, and I still haven't regretted my decision.

Mama always called me stubborn, but I like to think I'm just dedicated. I mean, I don't second guess myself. It's getting harder to convince myself that I really know who I am and what I'm for -- Delroy kept saying that. All the times I saw him, he'd always say he knew what he was fighting for, dying for, why he was a martyr.

I should be scared then, I mean - haha - I don't even know who I'm dying as anymore!

Ask me before the reaping, and I knew, and I know that I knew. I had plans for after college, for Bambi and I and my dogs, the farm and my ma; my photos. It's what I wish I had know, just a camera. Something to show me what really happened because I just don't know anymore. It's dark out, and the stars are so bright, the cameras watch me as I look at the sky like to look at god. Something is watching me, and it isn't Andy.

I just hope it's kind.

It's all I need.

[ tame wolf attempt #1 ]
QGLfmKoiVR1-4

elegant

1-4

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shutter stage // caleb & snowman Nov 15, 2020 17:08:33 GMT -5

Quote

Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2020 17:08:33 GMT -5

c a l e b .

"you are weak
but not foolish
you have learned
how to die."

Wolf's eye.

It watches me as I watch god, and I think about Bambi. Power is in the ones you love and so maybe she's my god; she's my strength, anyways. And that's close enough, right? I think about her and it makes me feel like I can get through this, that somewhere she's watching and waiting for me.

Not like Patricia. Or Lysander, for that matter, now that I'm alone and all of five is on me. I look up and think about where this sky is really from; it's just a hologram. I can swear, though, I look into it and my mind wants to believe it's real so bad. Stars dance and I'm cold on the lake, alone, sitting with my face up.

Maybe, if I don't die, I can feel the heat again.

[ tame wolf attempt #2 ]
tViKGfWaaL1-4

elegant

1-4

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last seen May 6, 2024 5:26:48 GMT -5

shutter stage // caleb & snowman Nov 15, 2020 17:15:58 GMT -5

Quote

Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2020 17:15:58 GMT -5

c a l e b .

"you are weak
but not foolish
you have learned
how to die."

Woah, now.

I stand up, scared that if I leave Andy too long that I'll get lost out here like Jacynth. Alone is worse than dead if ya ask me, and it turns out that it's been watching me the whole time. God, Bambi, the camera's and the stars -- "and what are you," I say to myself. Grinning, almost, with the shit that I keep finding in here.

It's a snowman, and it looks at me as I look at it, buttons for eyes and an apricot core. Goofy and it reminds me of the races; it reminds me of Luke and Delroy, and of Rene sledding so fast that I could've sworn he was enjoying his life for the last time. And so here I stand, giggling to myself in the cold and maybe I've just lost it altogether, y'know? "Proper evening, innit," and all that, like those goofy Ratmas shows Bambi and I would go watch. Corny, and goofy, and "you look a bit chilly, y'know?"

I leave my sailboat behind, paper in its wake and sitting on the snowman's head. Besides, I can't drive it without Andy. It's all just- "HOLY SHIT-"

elegant

Deleted 0 POSTS last seen May 6, 2024 5:26:48 GMT -5	shutter stage // caleb & snowman Nov 15, 2020 18:22:38 GMT -5 via mobile Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2020 18:22:38 GMT -5 WIP bc drunk lol but tl;dr - finds a snowman - hehe omg so silly xd - turns out and finds a wolf - tames the wolf, SKINNYYYYY - the wolf is named Little Lys