Save me; I'm lost [Carbon Leisure, day 6]
Nov 28, 2020 20:34:42 GMT -5
Post by * on Nov 28, 2020 20:34:42 GMT -5
C A R B O N .
Your a failure, Carbon. You had one job and that was to save her life. Save one more person before you die. You couldn't even do that. You idiot... I feel tears pooling to my left eye before I shut down completely. I'm not even sure if Piper is even still hanging around but if she wants to continue this, I'd have no reason to go easy on her. She looked like hell thanks to Sorrel and maybe she'll have a terrible night by herself.
Somewhere, Masau howls and it breaks me of my sorrows and I turn back to look down at her. Her still, frozen form on the ground and I immediately bend down to her level and with my quaking fingers, I reach for her hand. I press my two fingers against her wrist begging for some signs of life but I feel nothing... she's gone Carbon. She's dead-.
I pull to her other wrist and try the same thing. I won't accept this as an answer. It's not right. It can't be happening. We've spend days together, more than a week even before the games started. She didn't deserve this at all. She was too much of a gentle soul to have to endured this frozen wasteland filled with monsters trying to kill others.
I guess I am that now... I move my fingers from her wrist and gently turn her over to me, and draw her up into my arms. I cradle the girl that was once breathing and fighting so hard to stay alive just minutes ago and now she's not breathing. Her pulse is gone and she looks broken and more fragile in death then I could have ever imagined and I drop my head in hatred for her killer. I feel pain even though I'm not nursing any wounds right now.
This kind of pain isn't physical.
"Sor... please wake up. Please, don't go to sleep." I've held the hand of a dying man before and rocked the child of the parent that slipped away but never have I had to cradle the life of a friend in my own arms and expect to be okay after this. This hits a spot deeper and more profound.
"You.. won't hurt anymore. I promise. That I can promise and never break." I look to her face. My fingers gently smoothing her cheek and suddenly I find myself hugging her as my body is wracked with sobs. Whoever said boys can't cry is a douche because if you love enough, the tears are the only way to heal.
In between my feeble attempts to stop the sobs, I hear a tinkering noise and something catches my eye as it drifts down into the arena. A small box lands just a foot away from where I hold her against my body and I weigh the need to let her go. A moment later, I softly lay her back down and reach for the box.
As I open it, I feel my heart burst into something I can't quite explain and take out the flower crown that's inside. The white flowers with green leaves. The white flowers remind me of the snow. The green leaves make me think of the life in this desolate place. Someone must have noticed the flower crowns that Sorrel adored and the one I wore that she made me. I wish I still had it.
"Thank you -" I muster up the words and clutched the crown to my chest before I placed it on her head. She came into the capitol with one. She'll leave the same way. Masau's howl behind me drew my attention to him again and as I tried to coax him over, he hesitated and turned.
"Please - don't leave. Stay with her. I can't stay - I have to go. I don't want her to be alone. Masau -" I begged, standing and taking a step away from Sorrel's body with my hands outstretched proving I wasn't a threat. The further I move the more it felt like an invisible knife is being submerged into my heart. "Please don't let her go alone."
It's a simple wish - one that I wish I didn't have to make.
"I'm still going to protect you, Sorrel... and I'll make her pay." I whistle for Tux and try to find my way out of this place.