kingdom mothafuckin come // wolf fishing

I clear my throat before ending it all, striking down Carbon Chem and covering my mouth after. Of fear for what comes out or what doesn't, it's not easy. I mean, it's easier than killing Andy, for sure, but it isn't easy to kill anybody here. Damn, I feel like witnessing it all alone has aged me up some, at least enough to legally drink. I've been trying to bury that feeling deep into the pit of my gut, let go of the morals I have left and just live- damnit, live like I'm supposed to. I heard the cannon before my fight with Carbon even started, and I hear it at the close too.

The finale.

It beckons like a whole bitch and a half, and I'm trying to hold to myself- I am, I swear. Playing it cautious, playing it safe; the gamemakers will push me wherever they need me and whether it's Shy or Piper, it's just one more body. I can't think too hard about it, that's where people trip up. I've seen them both a few times and I know what I'm up against, that's good enough, right? Or maybe, just maybe, I'll overthink it.

Yeah, I'm gonna over think it, either that or taping myself up in silence which just ain't worth it.

There's me versus Shy, he's the capitol's golden boy, right? Career, all the trauma shop from the 80th that they could milk out of him, they'd pull confessionals from all those kids from those games and boom, victor already made. And what am I? You might ask that, but I'm, uhh, Bambi's girlfriend, and Bambi is Lysander's sister so I'm relevant to the plot somewhat. Shy may have Annie, but I have Lysander and- shit, the capitol hates her.

And Patricia, okay I'm fucked.

But then maybe it's Piper, she's somewhere in all this too and the capitol would surely pick, uh, probably Piper. Okay, never mind all this then, I'm out here chewing mints and fibers trying to just find a camera around here. The glass lake has the hardest ones to find I swear, you can barely mark them out by just the red dots. They keep them all to the outskirts and zoom in as they need, and I know they're supposed to be super intrustive, but honestly? I'm just happy people are witnessing all this whacko shit bullshit that happened here. My top five traumatic moments here start off with Rene's beheading, so.

This place is insane, every single day it gets worse and I've just got one more day here on this bullshit train until it's home time baby. Let's go Team Five! I swear, I'll make it home and make ugly wine red hoodies for the capitol if it means I don't die here. I've got my legs crossed, staring down the red light as I fix my dreads and try not to wince with my pains, "okay so Gamemakers, hear me out."

I try to smile as I talk, but it feels so fake. Because it's fake. It's a fake smile and I don't feel anything- I just want to go home already dude. Catch their eyes on these pearly whites, little miss Charisma, I'm your capitol darling don't you remember? "I used to think I should be your victor, because I didn't want to die and I missed my ma, but now I've learned! I have, really, I know I'm your victor, now. You might be saying to yourself, 'Caleb'" I say it in a deep voice, like I'm imitating my brother or Andy, "that's your voice, by the way."

"We've had this talk before! In the training scores! And you didn't agree with me then, and I don't blame you, I was a mess." I try to breathe smoothly here, act like I'm not in pain and I've made it this far with ease. At this point, I can only pray I'm less fucked up than the other guy, "but I've gotten pretty good at this! I've learned a lot from this whole experience, and I would benefit a lot more if I, y'know, didn't die and got to be a billionaire."

Caleb for Mayor, 0087, y'know? It's what I do!

Little girl magic, "if you guys want a Ratmas album from me, you've got it, show your support and get me home!"

[ catches a wolf at some point idk anymore ]
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