Maddox D10 {cbd1} done

Melanie "Maddox" Rune
16
District 10

"Mel, honey, sit with your legs crossed."
"Mel, you aren't acting very lady like."
"Melanie, honey, you can't be doing that, you'll ruin your dress I made."
"It's just a phase, dear, you'll get over it soon enough."

I'm tired. Tired of hearing the same things over and over. Tire of hearing the same words since I've been young. Ma claims she wants what's best for me, but she doesn't understand what she's doing. Dresses aren't my thing. Staying inside and playing with dolls makes me feel so uncomfortable and icky. Having her put my hair up into braids ruins everything. I never do enough for her, and she's pushing me into this box where I feel lost and confused and unable to figure out exactly who I am.

I don't know what it is, but it's hard living in my own skin. It's hard going outside for the world to see me all dressed up in a dress Ma made. I'm tired of hearing "Oh look at that pretty girl!" It brings me down. It completely shatters every hope of being someone else.

My friends call me Maddox, and treat me like I'm one of their own. They make me feel so happy, and Eddy has let me borrow some clothes until Pa saw me trying them on, and he took them away threatening to never let me go outside again.

I just know that one day I'll escape this place. I'll turn older, and I'll live under my own roof, and own my own farm and live as I please. Maybe then I'll find the happiness I deserve before it's too late.

I'm not a Ma's girl or a Pa's gal.

I don't know who I am.

But I know I'm unhappy.

And one day I have hope one day it'll change.