the best for my bestie | cami & dakota ; blitz

My favorite thing about being Camilla's friend is that I never have to remember to speak. Most of the time I can just sit and eat and be pretty, it's a lot less emotionally taxing than you'd think. She tells herself thank you and I cross my legs, holding my lips tight in an agreeing smile - of course. 

She knows I'm thankful, our families practically play penny stocks together and I don't have to understand any of it. "This is stupid sweet of you, Cami. Seriously, I thought I was done taking cheat days this week," I'm spanking an oreo jello cake as we speak. Estradiol comes with the territory, I've been too damn hungry for a diet.

Cami knows a way straight to a girl's heart.

"Oh my god, right?" She says people we hate, I just hear boy talk, "that's his name? Leo?" He spent the whole lecture just talking about nothing with some mousy girl with cuffed jeans, I wonder what that's like. I sat there staring at Cami and hearing not a single word, not saying a single word, that's how real friendship works. "Why... do we hate him, does he sell drugs or something?"

What's his rates? Asking for a friend. 

I can't make that joke with Cami, just because she starts to think I have other friends. 

Treat myself -- don't have to tell me twice. The spoon digs so gently into gelatin and I'm wide eye'd when Camilla responds. Taking my first bite and wondering what I'll eat after this one, I'm just such a sucker for sweets. You are what you eat and all that; is it dirty that I love hearing her talk shit? I think that's what makes this a mutual friendship, she feeds me and I- uhh, I'm pretty? 

Damn, I forget why we're friends...

Oh, the money. Duh. "Wow, woooow, last week is so recent too," that's terrible. I take another bite and I'm chewing wafer while I talk, "that's so awful? That's why I don't talk to people who whisper anymore. And he's always whispering to that girl with the bangs and the freckles, I can't ever tell what they're saying." 

It's almost like they're not talking to me -- crazy, right. I keep my left hand between my knees, it's cold in this restaurant and I wasn't even expecting to come here. "And that upper classman, Poe," I just can't help myself. I've always been bad at telling myself no as I take another bite of oreos, I don't even know if they're friends with Leo. I keep an eye out, I just want to know why they don't look at me back anymore. 

Why is it so hard, y'know? "Think I saw those two doing edibles on the roof last week, real dangerous."

I wish Poe would just tell me they hate me already, it'd make it easier to lie about them.