arlo monroe . d7 . fin

Imagine your brother. Imagine he's the worst. Imagine you love him anyway. And he loves you, too. That's me.



See- he likes to pretend he's perfect for the sake of everyone else, or something- I don't know. But I've never questioned it. Big bro's got it on lock, even when he doesn't, y'know? That's just how it's always been. Right- like, I could fuck up soooo royally—y'know the shitty, plastic tiara and all that—but- like- I have never seen that boomer lose. He always comes away smiling brighter than the sun & wearing the gold like a noose.

I hate him. Like, heh- idiot, fuckin idiot. Mom's got this thing she says about, uh, Riv and I- she'll say, "You're gingerbread brothers." Cut from the same dough, baked in the same shape- one's just a little smaller than the other, left in the oven just a little too long, edges darker than the rest. She was drunk when she said it. Ah man, she was- really, sheee- was gone. I- love her.

It's just that- and I don't want, I mean like, I don't want to say anything bad about my Mom and- th-this, this isn't that, y'know? Okay? My Mom, I love my Mom. But, uh, she's got this habit of falling into traps. The cheap booze, a-and the sleazy, filthy fucking- scumbags—with smiles that are just too damn bright and shiny and perfect like- heh, shit, a lot like fucking Riv, oh my god. Gotta make a note to tell him that one later, huh.

But anyway he's got this, thing er- Riv, uhhh, Riv's got this thing, about Mom. And, y'know, it- just- pisses me off. Like, fuck! Can he just- try? To y'know- understand her or just, even talk or something, listen—I'm, I- like, don't know anything about this stuff, like I'm sixteen not some shrink with a degree in psychopathy, hehe. What? Yeah, psychopathology, that's what I said, dude, you're- dude, you're gonna look like an entire clown when you play that back.

Annnywaay, since- you ruined my joke, y'know, it's- now it's just- poof -the train of thought has left the fucking station- hehe, my god. But uhmm- yeah. That's the fam. Yeah.

Hey uh, do you mind if I, uh- no no no, seriously, no pressure or whatever and like, normally I wouldn't ask, but, ohm shhfgt yeeahh mmmmmhmm. Gah, sorry. That's- fantastic, blueberry pie. Ah, that's- shit, let me just- yeah, no I'm so sorry, but but I'll just take that from you, yep, and just, wash that out right quick- no?

Yeah, okayokayokay- just, trying to correct my wrongs, sir. Isn't that what all this was about in the first place? Jeez, make up your mind, Willy- what? No, I said, 'She's made up her mind, silly.' My Mom? Oh my god- were you, you weren't listening at all earlier, were you? I- I can't believe this. I've been taught my whole life, YOU, SIR, have taught me- so much, how to be a good man. A fine- and honest- honest, sir.

But, like, you lied. You asked me what's wrong- a-and when I asked if you meant it- ah, see, you do remember, good, good- great. Good to know you just wanted to make a poor, fragile, vulnerable child- cry, like this, I- no, no, I'm fine, I'm leaving, no, everything was great, sir. I'll be better from now on.



Remember when we were imagining brothers? Right, the one who's just- the worst, er whatever?

Even when he gets detention from the P.E. teacher for showing some younger kids how to roll a joint during class—annnnd, maybe- just maybe -like, just- saw an opportunity, y'know, when uh, the keys to the school happened to be, like, right there- he practically handed them to him!

But yeah. That's me. I'm the worst. And no one ever says it, but- that's- kind of enough t-to prove it, right? You know what I mean?

Whatever. Dramatic me. I mean, I'm the one who's got a pool party to plan so really who's the winner here?