heartstrings | {hbk day 3 leisure}
Mar 12, 2021 12:20:24 GMT -5
Post by hesper hart 🐺 d9f on Mar 12, 2021 12:20:24 GMT -5
She didn't even notice that she was crying until she felt the tears falling across her cheeks. She was quick to hide it, though, wiping them away, grateful for the starless night sky above and hopeful that no one noticed.
"I'm gonna just-" she said, probably sounding perfectly fine, but in her head she sounded dreadfully weak, "I just need a sec."
She climbed to the top of the overpass, feet hanging off the edge of it. One hand clutched at a dried vine and the other, a cigarette. She kicked her feet, and almost began talking out loud to herself to keep off the thoughts she was having. They weren't even coherent enough to make sense, flashes of color, stabs of awful emotion, glimpses of disappointed faces, fleeting feelings of fading away. Please, she thought. Please, please, please.
She supposed its what came with repressing one's emotions. All of it would come bubbling up to the surface eventually, right? Only, this was different. It usually manifested in anger, and that would've at least been of fucking use to her in this hellscape. But no, Reagan Carbone didn't do things by the book. She chose now, in the midst of a giant fight to the death, to develop a fucking conscience. She finished the cigarette and flicked it over the edge, watched as it tumbled to the ground below and landed in a shower of sparks, and then was so quickly gone. She thought that was probably how she wanted to go out: big and quickly.
She was about to make her way back down when she saw Kyler walking up to her.
"Sup, Colossus?" she asked, trying her best to pretend she was okay even though she knew now that she probably wouldn't ever be okay again. She let him sit next to her and she cleared her throat. He knew. They probably all did.
"I, um... I have this habit of running away. When things get hard."
Glimpses of a blonde boy begging her to stay and she had no choice but to laugh out loud to keep the tears away.
"So, you shouldn't trust me so much. None of you should, I guess."
"I'm gonna just-" she said, probably sounding perfectly fine, but in her head she sounded dreadfully weak, "I just need a sec."
She climbed to the top of the overpass, feet hanging off the edge of it. One hand clutched at a dried vine and the other, a cigarette. She kicked her feet, and almost began talking out loud to herself to keep off the thoughts she was having. They weren't even coherent enough to make sense, flashes of color, stabs of awful emotion, glimpses of disappointed faces, fleeting feelings of fading away. Please, she thought. Please, please, please.
She supposed its what came with repressing one's emotions. All of it would come bubbling up to the surface eventually, right? Only, this was different. It usually manifested in anger, and that would've at least been of fucking use to her in this hellscape. But no, Reagan Carbone didn't do things by the book. She chose now, in the midst of a giant fight to the death, to develop a fucking conscience. She finished the cigarette and flicked it over the edge, watched as it tumbled to the ground below and landed in a shower of sparks, and then was so quickly gone. She thought that was probably how she wanted to go out: big and quickly.
She was about to make her way back down when she saw Kyler walking up to her.
"Sup, Colossus?" she asked, trying her best to pretend she was okay even though she knew now that she probably wouldn't ever be okay again. She let him sit next to her and she cleared her throat. He knew. They probably all did.
"I, um... I have this habit of running away. When things get hard."
Glimpses of a blonde boy begging her to stay and she had no choice but to laugh out loud to keep the tears away.
"So, you shouldn't trust me so much. None of you should, I guess."
