if i let go ( would you hold on? ) / c&s day 5
Mar 26, 2021 14:59:28 GMT -5
Post by calla on Mar 26, 2021 14:59:28 GMT -5
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They get as far as they can before collapsing. Castor can't exactly tell how long they just lie there for, in too much pain to move but too tired to do anything about it. But he keeps a vice grip on Sin the whole time, a little scared that if he lets go, the other boy might disappear.
When the arena starts to darken, when there's bandages around Castor's stomach but there's still blood on his face, he still feels that tightness in his chest. He feels fragile. Like one little tap is going to send him shattering.
The pain had distracted him, maybe, and the adrenaline had numbed him. But sitting here in the silence now forces him to face the day and there's that childish petulance again - there's that absolute stubbornness.
Cas reaches into his bag and then takes his hand back out slowly, plastic pieces spilling over and scattering into his lap.
He tries to smile and lighten the mood, he tries to laugh a little because it's so stupid that something as small as a radio is what tips him over the edge. But then his voice cracks around the syllables and maybe that's fitting, it's just like him - "It's broken."
He makes himself as small as he can and tucks himself against Sin, tangling their legs together and resting his head on his chest, careful of both their bandages. He craves comfort so bad that his skin crawls from it.
"I think I killed someone." He whispers into the fabric of Sin's suit, and then he breaks.
Castor holds onto Sin as sobs start to rack his body, his throat burning as he hiccups through them. There's a thousand little voices in his head and the awful keening noises he makes does nothing to block them out. It's terrible in the same way that the ground had given away when he drove the spear in, and then the way that he realized that that wasn't the ground. It's in the way that he can still hear the canon echo and feel the shake in his bones.
Sin's arms help block everything else out, and Cas sits there in his little hurricane of loathing and fear and clings to this boy that he barely knows.
"I didn't even know their name." Because he's a coward and he had grabbed Sin's wrist and tried to push them in the opposite direction. He had turned tail and ran, and now someone was dead because of him.
When the arena starts to darken, when there's bandages around Castor's stomach but there's still blood on his face, he still feels that tightness in his chest. He feels fragile. Like one little tap is going to send him shattering.
The pain had distracted him, maybe, and the adrenaline had numbed him. But sitting here in the silence now forces him to face the day and there's that childish petulance again - there's that absolute stubbornness.
Cas reaches into his bag and then takes his hand back out slowly, plastic pieces spilling over and scattering into his lap.
He tries to smile and lighten the mood, he tries to laugh a little because it's so stupid that something as small as a radio is what tips him over the edge. But then his voice cracks around the syllables and maybe that's fitting, it's just like him - "It's broken."
He makes himself as small as he can and tucks himself against Sin, tangling their legs together and resting his head on his chest, careful of both their bandages. He craves comfort so bad that his skin crawls from it.
"I think I killed someone." He whispers into the fabric of Sin's suit, and then he breaks.
Castor holds onto Sin as sobs start to rack his body, his throat burning as he hiccups through them. There's a thousand little voices in his head and the awful keening noises he makes does nothing to block them out. It's terrible in the same way that the ground had given away when he drove the spear in, and then the way that he realized that that wasn't the ground. It's in the way that he can still hear the canon echo and feel the shake in his bones.
Sin's arms help block everything else out, and Cas sits there in his little hurricane of loathing and fear and clings to this boy that he barely knows.
"I didn't even know their name." Because he's a coward and he had grabbed Sin's wrist and tried to push them in the opposite direction. He had turned tail and ran, and now someone was dead because of him.
