Peekaboo | Sin/Belle Day 7 Mandate

A sharp intake of breath. I was bleeding. It’s now I realize that I hadn’t been attacked at all since the blood bath. And the pain from my broken leg that I’ve spent so much time ignoring comes rushing back in as this new wound appears. 

“You fucking shot me!”

I don’t know why I’m surprised. It’s the hunger games. Maybe I’m just in shock from the pain.

Maybe I half expected Sin to let me win. I don’t know why I would think that.

Sin is Syd’s district partner. The realization dawns on me like I had finally solved a difficult puzzle. I’m not sure how this helps me, they likely haven’t interacted since the Capitol but it feels as though this is something I need to figure out before I can move onward. 

But before I can figure any of it out, I have to survive. The bullet wound is deep, and the blood is pouring. I just have to outlive Sin.

He scrambles through the dirt, away from me. He seems distracted and overwhelmed, almost preoccupied. He doesn’t notice one of the sun scorned beasts behind him as he backs into it, dissolving it into dirt that rushes over us. 

The dust settles and Sin is on his knees, aiming his gun at me. 

In this moment I think of the pain settling into my thigh and how I cant take a mimicked scar anywhere else. I tense up, hoping my hyper focus in resisting the shot will make it somehow miss.

Im not lucky enough. The bullet lodges into my arm. I immediately double over, my left hand grabbing onto the wound. I scream out in pain. 

“Sin, listen, I’m not here for you.”

I try my best to wince away the pain, and to little avail.

“I’m looking for Syd. The fuckers still alive. Have you seen him?”

There is some distance between Sin and I now. That’s probably for the best. I fumble for one of my revolvers. I finally get my hand on one, but it’s shaky due to the immense pain. I aim the gun at Sin. Before I pull the trigger, I remember: Bene gave me this gun.

I’ve always had a good memory. So much reading and mindless research. A craving for knowledge that fuels no agenda beyond curiosity. 

Until I was reaped. I remember the fear, and the longing for Adam’s touch. I remember feeling alone and doomed. But I don’t remember seeing Adam in the justice building. I know he was there. I know he held me, because I know Adam. I know he cried and told me he loved me. 

But I can’t remember it.

The bloodbath. I have the wounds to prove my attendance. I have the nightmares that haunt my wake. But I can’t remember it.

Revan, my district partner.

Benedict. Coach. My allies. 

Langely, Sutton, Grim, Fridae. The girls they killed. I learned their names only after seeing them imprinted into the sky. I learned them out of mere guilt.

I can remember who is still alive. 

A girl from four. A boy from five. A young boy from six. A girl from seven. A scary girl from eight, who could’ve killed Coach and I if it weren’t for Coach killing Fridae first. 

But I can’t remember any of their names. Not out of lack of ability, but fear. Fear that their names will pollute my silences with guilt and irrationality. I didn’t let myself learn them. 

Then there’s Syd. Sin. And Belle. 

The only names I know. 

So when the canon fires, I can only wonder.... who.

People die here everyday. But with only eight—no seven, of us left it’s hard not to wonder. It’s not Sin, he’s too driven to die.

It’s not me, Sin is destroying me from the outside while my own sins eat at me from the inside.

I wonder which of the nameless tributes Sin cares so deeply for that is worrying him? Which one does he fear the canon sounded for?

Its insensitive to call them nameless. Shame on me. 

Did the loud boom of death echo through the arena after the silent last breath of Syd? Part of me hopes so. Let the bastard rot on the same pavement Bene did. 

But part of me thirsts for the kill. Longing for Syd’s blood to cleanse my hands of the defenseless girl I might have once been. Syd hurt me. Betrayed me. Judged me. It should be me who puts him to rest. 

But I have to survive. I’ve fallen to my knees. I’m clutching my chest, gasping for a air and hoping with each pathetic breath that it’s not my last. Blood spills out into my hands and slips down my arm like a river of life slowly drying. Something about this feels fatal, but I’m still staring at him. 

I don’t know how long I’ve been down here, wondering. 

I don’t remember the shot. I don’t remember the fall. I just recognize the fear. The same loom of death that clouded above me the moment my name was read. 

I wonder, does the scary girl from eight remember my name?

Did the canon sound for me?

Will my last moments be in Adams arms? Or will they be right now, aiming a gun at my friend?

Fire dances around us in tribute to our imminent deaths. The fire looms closer, craving the ash of our existence. But I dims in comparison to the fire in my eyes, craving closure the capital doesn’t let me deserve.

“Sin, please.” I call.

Sin wasn’t going to walk away unharmed, but he was going to walk away, leaving me in the dust polluted in the blood of failed camaraderie. 

I wasn't strong enough to win, but like I told the game makers all those days ago, maybe I was smart enough.

“Sin, I don’t want to kill you. I have to find Syd.”

My eyes dart around frantically, searching for a path out.

“You obviously have someone you need to see again. We have unfinished business, the both of us. So let’s take of them, and live to fight another day.”

Was he listening. Could he hear me?

“If you die here, without finding what you’re looking for you’ll never have closure.”


I turn and I walk away. Towards the fire.

When suddenly I’m on my knees, searing from a shot into my back. I turn and see the revolver still aimed at me. I stand and pull my gun up to match his.

“Guess fucking not.”

And I shoot.

A shot rings out. In the sound, time stops. A vendetta soaked bullet rips towards me and with a deep breath my eyes fall shut and I know this is my end.

“No,” I whisper. But I’m muffled by the sound of the bullet soaring just past me. He missed. I smile a thanks to whatever protected me. 

Sin isn’t going to let me walk away. One of us has to die. But maybe it won’t be me, I think just as a second shot rings out and scrapes my leg. My armor protects me, and once the initial shock wears off, it doesn’t hurt nearly as badly as the rest of them did. 

Another canon rings out, and for a slight moment I thought it was mine. I come to my senses and start to wonder. 

6 left and I only know two for sure. Who are the other four?

It doesn’t matter, soon there will only be five. What matters is that I’m one of them.

I aim the revolver and I shoot.

At this point, one of us may win this fight but still be left, bleeding out in the dust. Our skin is caked in blood and dirt.

The need to lay shot after shot into Sin is overwhelming but I’m so tired and wounded that keeping my arm up and aimed for too long is a supernatural feat. I take my rest and stare over at Sin, waiting for another shot.

Just one of us get this over with.

The shot rings out, but he’s shaky and it flies on away from me. I look up to the Smokey sky and take a breath, filling my lungs with essence of rubber.

I take aim but before I shoot another canon rings out. I drop my stance and look around.

That’s three in the last several minutes. The game makers are ready for this to be over.

With this thought, the circle of fire closes in on us, forcing me to close some of the distance between Sin and I. I cough from the absolutely toxic air filling my lungs. 

I shake my head in attempt to clear it and refocus. I stare down the barrel of the gun. My head cocked and one eye closed. I lock in on Sin the best I can, hoping the black smoke clears long enough for me to take my shot.