believe me when I say [ nan v cas ] day 7
Apr 4, 2021 8:52:08 GMT -5
Post by k!ah on Apr 4, 2021 8:52:08 GMT -5
"who did this to you?" I had asked Flynn, studying the gruesome mess on the side of his face where his ear had once been. It broke my heart to see him like this, blood running down his neck, soaking the collar of his jacket. It was hard to see, knowing that if I had of been there, by his side, the outcome might have been different. Had I have been there then maybe the bullets might have struck my body instead, it disgusts me that a small rush of relief shoots through me over me that I wasn't there. Instantly replaced with guilt at having such a selfish thought.
“There were so many of them. Both Sevens, a really mad girl from Eight and...Silk.”
“Silk...” It seemed that she was our shadow, we could escape her once the light faded but the moment the sun rose she would be lurking around the corner, ready to strike that fatal blow. I hated that he had to face her without me, I knew Silk. I knew her because she was a mirror image of who I was. We had been trained the same way, I knew her mindset because it was my mindset. Kill or be killed. Kill to survive. Though Silk was more experienced, her spear claiming the lives of two thatchers- that I know about. “Is she the one who did this to your face?”
“No.” I frown, the question of who still on my lips, “it was Lorraine, she is insane. She did it all.” Lorraine. Lorraine. Lorraine. I sear the name into my mind, sounding it out as the name rolls off my tongue. She was dead if I ever saw her. I say as much to Flynn, mumbling the threat angrily under my breath as my fingers fiddle with a needle and thread. Dead. I wanted to say more, but I watch as a range of emotions play on the younger boys face, emotions that didn't belong on a face so young. I force the features of my face to soften slightly, giving him a small comforting smile, “if it’s too much to talk about we don't have too, we can just rest... but I heard a few canons..." I nibble on my lip, curious to know whether one belonged to the blonde career.
"I know where one came from but- did silk stab someone else with her damned spear?” I pause, a fierceness erupting within me, “Is she dead?”
”Two died. Silk killed Kyler-" of course she fucking did. My biggest most deadliest threat in this arena- "the boy from Seven. Straight through the eye." The words cause me to go still for a moment, the image of Sins spear burying itself into Garrisons eye fresh in my mind. Flynn seems to choke on the next words, avoiding my gaze. “I shot Silk in the chest so I could run away.” My breath catches in my throat. Oh my god. Did- did Flynn kill her? For a moment a force satisfaction fills me, but then concern for the boy before me. What must be going through his mind? Killing was not supposed to be easy... But Flynn... Flynn was still so young, an action such as this was bound to change him.
I was almost too scared to whisper the next words, scared that if I said it out loud that it might risk scarring Silks ghost back to life, “She’s dead?" I hold my breath, waiting.
”She’s dead.”
I realise a shaky breath. Revan's killer was dead. For her sake I hoped that it was as quick as Revan's death. But some dark part of me hoped that she felt each and every damned blow. Hoped that it was excoriating, withering on the ground as her life spilled onto the disgusting wasteland beneath her. That part of me scared me, I could feel it lurking beneath the surface. I hadn't felt it much before tonight, but looking at Flynn, the bullets holes that were torn into his body, the jagged hole on his head, it seemed to stir the beast beneath the surface.
“Good.” Flynn asks me to look at his back, explaining how Loraine had shot him. He shrugs off his shirt as I ask him to turn around so that I could have a better look. The would is clean, the bullet seemed to have gone straight through. The bleeding had seemed to have slowed and I thread my needle carefully. After a moment I press the tip into his skin, apologising as I push it in further to make the first stitch. I am silent for a moment as I work, studying the back of his head for a moment as I debate whether or not to push him for more details.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I say finally, starting the next stitch carefully. I could only imagine what he might have been through today... It would be healthy to talk about it, to let it out, but I didn't want to push him not if he wasn't ready. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help," I say quietly, I should have been there.
“No it is ok. If you ever run into that Lorraine, please do not show her any mercy.” Flynn didn't have to worry about that, if I ever saw Loraine I would make sure that she would be dead, and I would not hope for it to be quick and painless. I would show no mercy, not after what she had put Flynn through.
Flynn asks about what happened to me, I give him a quick rundown. “I ran into the career from 2, he struck me, but before much else could happen Sin- the boy from 12, well, he killed 2, spear straight through the eye. And that was that. Sin and the boy from five and I went our separate ways.”
“Straight through the eye with a spear? That keeps happening a lot...it's a messy way to go.”
“It was surprisingly clean.” Which was true. There was not much blood, or mess. The sound of the breath escaping his body and then the thud of it as his connected with the ground, hard. It seemed cleaner than Revan's death, even. His body didn't thrash around, there was not frothing at the mouth. One second he was threatening me, his spear charging towards me with the intent to kill and then the next there was nothing. It was over in a heartbeat. In the blink of an eye. “Fast and pain free, is that better than being attacked until you bleed out? I don’t know.”
“I think I’d rather know it was not coming. Kyler and Silk were fighting for some time before that move came. With her lightening spear.”
“That spear is a real bitch.”
* * *
I wake before Flynn. Carefully I peel myself away from my spot next to him. For a moment I sit there quietly, head resting on my knees, I watch him sleep. His injured side was faced away from me, and I could almost imagine that it didn't exist at all. He looked so peaceful, so innocent so fucking young. There was no need to hold up any guards when he slept, all the barriers thrown to the ground as he trusted that I would watch his back. His eye lid twitches, and he stirs I quickly begin to pack my things.
Tears begin to fill my eyes as I shove the last of my stuff into my pack, securing the top.
I knew what the next step was. I knew that what I had to do would break the promise I had made to him. I knew that he would wake afraid and alone wondering why I had left him again... But I didn't have a choice. I had to go because we were coming to the end and I knew, I knew that I couldn't be there when and if he fell. I couldn't watch as he was murdered. I couldn't be the one to do it either. I knew that I had to be the one to leave because Flynn would not make that move first.
So I would run.
Run like a coward.
Tears fall down my cheek as I kneel beside him, gently brushing the hair from his eyes. I just hoped that he would be able to forgive me.
Leaning down I place a kiss on his forehead, "I'm sorry, Flynn," I whisper, my voice thick with tears. "But I have to go now. I hope that one day you'll be able to forgive me." My eyes close for a moment, and I take a deep breath, collecting myself as I push myself to my feet. I turn away, holding back a sob. My eyes are still closed as I begin to move away, throwing my pack onto my shoulder. Each step felt heavier. Like the weight of the situation was growing and growing until it would be too much for me to handle.
I squeeze my eyes shut tighter, fighting the urge to look over my shoulder, to retreat back to his side. I wouldn't, I couldn't, stay with him. I couldn't watch him die. I just couldn't. I couldn't put myself through that. But that didn't mean running was going to hurt any less.
"Goodbye, Flynn."
* * *
The tears had dried by the time I come across Castor Fosse. I expect to see Sin beside him, touching him. Connected to him. But he was alone, his uneasiness evident. "Castor?" There is caution in my voice as I approach him carefully. I didn't want to spook him, my eyes glued to the revolver in his grasp. I could only imagine just how terrified he would be, to be alone in a world that was trying to defeat him on all fronts. "Castor, it's Nanette, we spoke yesterday." And spoke we had, it turns out the Castor Fosse was quite the chatterbox. It seemed odd that a boy who seemed to table on nonstop had chosen the mute to be his ally.
I had asked how he had become blind. If it was a deformity that he was born with, or if it was something that had occurred later in life. He had explained that he had not always been this way. That due to an immune system that was as fragile as crystal that it was just an unfortunate event that had stolen his sight. A story that was so unfortunate, only grew worse when his name was called at the reaping only a few weeks ago. Then tossed into a wasteland full of germs and other diseases that would tear his immune system to shreds.
I couldn't help but feel bad for the kid, but that doesn't stop my hand hesitantly reaching for my spear.
"Castor, where's Sin?"