Vigil | Belle Jaune | Day 7

I am not the same.

I sit with my legs spread out in front of me, my body squished into a small corner of  dysmorphed tires. Staring at my hands, now covered in a scarlet glove.

Seven days. I got angry, yeah, but I stayed untouched by Panem for seven damn days. But now they see me for something new,

The Capitol sees what a successful operation. Turning me into a vessel of murder and trauma. My district sees a failure. Another one of us turned to the damned, but can’t handle the flames of guilt. And Adam sees a monster. Not the woman he fell in love with. 

I’m not sure what I am, but I am different. I’m different from the all. Syd, Bene, Coach, they killed strangers. Not their friends. They felt guilt. But did  it coincide with loss?

Sin probably deserved to live. I don’t know, I hardly knew him. But I walked away. 

And with the odds against me, I’ll do my best to walk out. 

Four left. Three more canons preceding tragedy and victory and I go home.

Or back to eleven, anyways.