kaira cotton . journal entries

Kaira's Journal
Entry Two
Year Of The First Annual Hunger Games
The Death of Perrio Cotton

The First Hunger Games ended three weeks ago now. My father didn't wake up this morning. Perrio Cotton, my kind-hearted father who's always been there for me, is gone. Papa will never be here again to hold me close. He will never be here again for our jokes and laughter. He will never be here for our deep conversations. I just wish I could bring him back. It's not fair.

[ saunders collection '05 - rave ]

Kaira's Journal
Entry Four
Year of the Second Annual Hunger Games
Watching The Second Annual Hunger Games

The second Games scared me even more than the first. Now that Papa is gone, I know what it feels like to lose someone to death's hold. I don't ever want to see death or feel the loss of someone ever again. Unfortunately, I have to watch the Games, so I don't really have a choice. Kids are cutting each other apart. They're dying and it won't stop. I dropped my head into my hands when I saw the last tribute fall. I may not have known any of them, but it still hurt so much.

How could the Capitol be so cruel to us all?

[ saunders collection '05 - rave ]

Kaira's Journal
Entry Six
Year of the Second Annual Hunger Games
Kaira's Sixteenth Birthday

From what I've heard, sixteenth birthdays are supposed to be special, for some reason, but we can't really afford to make my birthday celebration any more elaborate than usual this year. Momma did crochet me a scarf as a gift, though. I love it and it's quite beautiful. She did a really good job with it.

Birthdays are still weird without Papa here, but I try not to think about it. I also try not to think about the fact that, the older I get, the bigger chance I have of getting picked for the Games. Apparently, the older you are, the more times they put your name in there, so your chances are higher. It scares me, but at least getting older means I'm closer to the risk going away entirely. Once you turn nineteen, you're not in the reaping anymore.

I can't wait for that day.

[ saunders collection '05 - rave ]

Kaira's Journal
Entry Eight
Year of the Third Annual Hunger Games
Kaira's Seventeenth Birthday

I turned seventeen today. I'm getting closer to not having to worry about the reaping and potentially being picked for the Hunger Games anymore. Ramio gave me a gift this year. He'd put in some extra time at work so the he could get enough money to afford something for me. He gave me a beautiful necklace with a small gemstone on it. I know the gemstone isn't real, because he couldn't afford that, but I love it regardless, and it's very special to me.

Immediately after he gave it to me, I put it on, and gave him the biggest hug.

Even though Papa isn't here, my birthday wasn't as hard this year. Of course, it'll never be perfect.

[ saunders collection '05 - rave ]

Kaira's Journal
Entry Ten
Year of the Fourth Annual Hunger Games
Watching The Fourth Annual Hunger Games

This year, the heavy editing of the recording of the Hunger Games was very clear. It seemed like the tributes didn't want to fight, from what I could tell, but the Capitol definitely tried to hide that with what they broadcast to the rest of us. The tributes fought animals, rather than each other, but the way the recording was put together, it was like they tried to make it so you couldn't tell why things were going that way. Really, it was all quite confusing to the average viewer, but as I watched, I dissected it.

Not everyone there wanted to draw their opponent's blood. Maybe, if I did get chosen next time, there was still some hope for me. Who knows, honestly?

[ saunders collection '05 - rave ]

Kaira's Journal
Entry Twelve
Year of the Fourth Annual Hunger Games
Kaira's Eighteenth Birthday

As I turn eighteen this year, there's both fear and hope in my heart. The fear comes from the fact that I'm more likely than ever to get picked for the Hunger Games. The hope comes from the fact that it's my last year where there's any chance of that happening, so I might be able to make it out unscathed. What scares me more than myself getting chosen for the Games, however, is the potential of Bellia getting chosen, now that she's old enough. Her twelfth birthday was just two days prior to my eighteenth, and it worries me dearly.

[ saunders collection '05 - rave ]