des, district five | finished

I've been offered so much reefer today, man.

Have I lost my mind? Is that just normal for y'all? Don't sweat, I'm not complaining! I'm totally chill with immersing myself in Five's culture. Back in Ten, my dealer would charge me a whole fifteen bucks for just one joint. That, and he'd also make me help him around his farm on the weekends. Shit, I swear he was rippin' up those fence posts on purpose. I didn't really mind, though. He'd let me hold his cat! See this scar right here? The cat got pissed at me.

Anyway, here. This ginger chick told me this thing is called a 'roach?' Says some fella named Eric swears by these puppies. No idea what that means, but hell, I'm here for a good time — not a long time! That being said, it looks fuckin' disgustin', so don't say I've never done anything for ya. Really, dude, thank you for smokin' with me. In my old school, my classmates used to call me a lazy bum, but hot damn! Everybody here is a bum, too! I fit right in.

Yeah, man, Ten is pretty great. I'm always down to talk about it. Y'all always get so caught up with the accent, but man, it's more than that. Where I'm from is in everything I do. Trust me, the ladies love a cowboy. I'm a prime slab of meat in these halls. Hell, yesterday I saw the janitor giving me the eyes. Uh, the angry kind — because I threw my soda can and missed the trash, but still. I just know my "sorry, ma'am," had her wrapped around my finger.

I cleaned up my mess, too. Don't worry! I hate littering. I even wrote a whole report on how much I hate it for my environmental science class. The teacher had some really steamy things to say. 'See me after class, Desmond,' and a big red 'F' that stands for exactly what we think it does. 'Course, when I went to visit, she got so caught up in talking about my paper that nothing really happened. Which is fine! I love talkin'. I have a lot to say.

Nah, don't stress, man! That's nice of you, but really, I'm holdin' up just fine. The travel ban is kinda scary, but it's no big deal. Home is waitin' on me, but being here at this school? With all these new friends I'm makin'? There's nothing else like it! You know Kelso? He said he's thinking about visiting Ten when I have to go back. I told him about cow tipping, and he was so pumped. He said something about being surprised cows could count.

Let alone visit a restaurant!

Yeah, I was confused, too. Honestly, this place almost always has me scratchin' my head. Y'all are weird. But awesome! The redhead girl I just told you about, Donna — remember her? Dude, we met because I walked into the girls' room by accident! She didn't even bat an eye! We shared a blunt right there, and I told her I loved her pants. She said I could try them on if I wanted, but I didn't want to deal with trying to take off my belt buckle. I mean, look at this thing.

It's a fashion statement, alright.

I got it for gettin' first place in a lasso competition a couple years back. I don't think it's real gold, though. Really, it was a super small contest — but still. I won. Makes me super happy to talk about. What about you, man? It feels like I've been going on and on. Oh, I see, you're focused on that granola bar. Nah, it's okay, don't rush chewing. I'd ask for a bite, but I have some chocolate in my backpack, so... I'll eat that. Because it's chocolate.

Not granola.

Anyway, I got to head to the lab. How's my breath? Should I pop another mint? We're doing partner work today. Who knows what might happen?

And take good care of that roach, ya hear?