annaliese belrose. d1. fin.

Iam just your stereotypical rich socialite girl. I've never really had to work for a day in my life, but I don't really mind that. My mother and father have never had to work. Honestly, I'm not even sure if my grandparents have had to work. Instead, my family for years have spent our time rubbing elbows with other wealthy members of the district.

My mom says she married my dad for love, but I was so young when he died I'm not sure if that's true. I know that her current fiance, Dietmar. My mother, Sophia, is a great mother and I know that she loves me. But, she expects me to do what other people in my position do. Find someone rich to keep our mutual wealth going.

She sees what everyone else does when they look at Annaliese Belrose, a rich socialite who's entire life revolves around their money and keeping their money. But I don't want all of this. I want to find someone who I love, genuinely love. Someone who would still love me if I didn't come from money. Someone who I could have a family with.

I guess you could say I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic. And sure, yeah this has caused problems before. I've had guys that I thought genuinely loved me, then when they know my mom and I are at some event they steal from us. I've had guys who through our entire relationship they just kept getting me to buy them things. I've had guys date me to use me for other reasons. But I know someone who loves me for me is out there and I'm dedicated to finding them.

When people see me, they don't see that I have hobbies and a personality and that I am a human being. They see that I'm athletic and have the money to afford to be a career. They see that I have enough money to dye my hair and wear a full face of makeup and get my eyebrows done. They see my luxury clothes. But underneath those luxury clothes? There are scars from years of training. Behind the makeup? I have a face full of acne I've had my entire life.

They also don't see that I like to do science, especially learning about geology. They don't see that I like to fight, that being a career gives me a sense of freedom I don't get in my everyday life. Everyone is trapped and struggling in their own way. Yes, my life is easy. I've never had to worry about food or shelter or money. But am I happy? I don't know if I am.

I have had some people tell me that I'll never be happy. Sometimes I wonder if they're right. I have everything I could ever want. Yet, I can't help but feeling as though something in my life is missing. The issue is, I have no clue what that thing is. It isn't love, my mom loves me a ton. I have lots of friends. I have money. And I get a sense of fulfillment from my career training - which by the way was a hassle to get my mom to agree to.

Maybe what I'm missing in my life is a purpose. I have no clue what I really want to do with my life, because my whole life I was told what everyone else wants me to be. They want me to be a good house wife. They want me to go to social events and find elbow. They want me to find a rich husband even if we're entirely incompatible. But what do I want? Does it even matter what I want?

I'm too scared of upsetting my mom to tell her the truth. To tell her I don't want the life she has planned out for me. People see me as a sweet young lady. They see me as someone who doesn't cause trouble. But, this lets them walk all over me. It leaves me wondering if my life would be different if I stopped being what everyone else wanted. I want to stand up to people. I want to tell people that I'm not interested in them or that crowded rooms in parties make me nervous. I want to shout from the rooftops that I am tired of being used.

Most of all I want time to work on myself. I want time where I can work on my flaws. I want to be able to learn more. It's a dream to be able to spend some time to learn how to be assertiveness to stand up for myself and for others. I am full of flaws, like everyone else. But with my busy life that's been pushed on me I don't have time to work on those flaws. I don't have time to try different acne treatments, to figure out how to get rid of my anxiety in crowds, or to finally tell my mother what I want in life.