d r y w a l l . (k&a)

Adrian was shocked to say the least. It was shocking to see Killua talking to his dad. It was shocking to see Killua was randomly in his house. It was shocking to see his dad get pissed off at his friend. But the most shocking thing was Killua's reaction - how upset he was. They had been friends for years and he had never seen Killua that upset. He wanted to say or do something to help but his mind was blank. Suddenly he didn't care about what happened the previous day. He didn't care about whatever secrets his dad might have spilled. He cared that Killua was hurting, and he listened to him.

Killua mentioned his dad saying something about his family life. That's when it hit Adrian. How his and Killua's houses differed, especially before his mom died. Their house was always filled with laughter. They have family photos and other important things lining the walls. Every night they would sit down for a family dinner and talk about their days. Hell, even outside of dinner his mom would always come to say hi to him and his friends. So did his dad before her death.

Killua's house? It was the opposite. Come to think of it, he didn't even know Killua's dads name. Something Kravitz, obviously. He had never really seen or met either parent despite them being friends for years. There were no family photos or big dinners together. No meeting the friends and playing board games to get to know them. Suddenly, he started feeling really bad for Killua. Part of the reason he cherished Killua so much was whenever he was going through a rough patch, Killua had his back. But now he realised something. He realised maybe the reason he always let Adrian crash at his place - no questions asked - was so that big house didn't feel so damn empty. He wanted to hug him.

Then he mentioned Adrian's dad blaming him for something. This was news. Adrian's dad had never told him he blames him for his mothers death. Hearing that would be far too traumatic, he may be an asshole but Jason wouldn't go that far. Jason knew how hard it must have been for Adrian to just walk into his moms room to find her dead out of nowhere. Now imagine if his own father blamed him for. But Adrian? He had no clue. He wanted to know what his dad blamed on him. He really did. Maybe if he fixed that they could get their relationship back on track. They could be a family again. But now wasn't the time to ask.

Killua punched a fucking hole in his wall. But he didn't care about the hole, not right now. He cared about the bleeding. That didn't look good. He quickly went into training mode. Luckily one thing that careers learned was first aid.

"Stay here, I'm gonna get you something for your hand."


Before Killua could object Adrian hurried out his bedroom door and shut it behind him, looking for the first aid kit to make sure his hand was taken care of.

The idea of Killua reading the journal he had left in his room hadn't even crossed Adrian's mind - he didn't care about that right now. He didn't care about his bullshit teenage angst. He didn't care about everything he had spent years trying to hard. He didn't care about his insecurities or his sexuality or his issues with his dad. Right now he cared about Killua. He wasn't too worried about his hand. He's a career and he's seen worse. Shit happens. But, that didn't mean Killua was fine. His friend was hurting right now. Killua had been hurting for a while. But Adrian was too wrapped up in his own bullshit to ever notice. He was a shit friend. Killua was always there for him and while he complained about his issues, Killua was fighting his own battle.

And his dad, he couldn't believe his dad. If his dad talked shit about him and hurt him, that was fine. He could handle it. But Killua? Killua was off limits. His dad was never an ass to his friends before, so he was just shocked with everything going on. He would definitely have a talk with his dad once he sobered up. He was ready for his dad to kick his ass or kick him out. He just had to know that what he said to Killua - whatever it was - was not okay.

He was grateful when he didn't pass his father when he was getting the stuff. The living room was empty, meaning his dad was probably back in his room. And suddenly, it hit him. The house had never felt so empty before. Even when he was home alone, it always felt full when his mom was around. There were house plants and warmth and there was always some sort of snack left out. In the living room there would be art pieces that were works in progress from him or his mom. His dad and his buddies would come over to chat. Adrian and his friends would be sitting in the living room with their backpacks thrown around. But, it wasn't just the lack of people that made the house feel so empty. It was the lack of life. Adrian and Jason - both of them - had been existing without really living for almost two years now. But when he was with Killua the other day, at least what he remembered from it, he felt alive again.

After he grabbed the supplies he headed back into the bedroom and immediately went to help Killua. Killua apologised, but there was something else to it. Was Killua... embarrassed? He didn't know he could be embarrassed honestly. It made him feel even worse about what happened with his dad. His dad must have really gotten to Killua. And maybe he could figure out what Killua knew, "Don't worry about the wall. You think my dad and I haven't fought? We've damaged these walls more than you ever will... speaking of that, what do you know, Killua? What did he tell you?"

Holy shit.

Those were the only two words that Adrian Navarre could think in that moment. Holy shit. It was all a lot to process for him right now. Killua was so close to him he could feel his breath on his cheek as his own face began to heat up and turned red. And his dad? How did his dad even find out he was gay, let alone that he was into Killua? Maybe it was because of all the times he had crashed over at Killua's place after getting kicked out. For a moment he glanced at his journal. But no, that couldn't be it. It couldn't.

His dad hadn't been in his room since he wrote that entry, there's no way his dad found his journal. Plus, his dad would've definitely brought that up to him. But Killua probably didn't know how his dad somehow found out. He guessed his dad was drunk and stupid, making gay jokes and Killua took them seriously. This all started making sense to him. His dad getting mad about shit outside of Adrian's control - Adrian can't control himself being gay. That must be what he was talking about earlier.

Part of him was tempted to say no. He didn't want to mess things up with Killua, they had such a good friendship. Plus he had his flirting going on with Zed. But, he wasn't even sure if he was really into Zed or if Zed wanted anything more than flirting and maybe a hookup. Honestly he hadn't heard of Zedekiah Luna ever having anything more than a hookup. And Adrian decided he didn't want to just be some hookup. He wanted to be a boyfriend. He wanted to feel loved and cherished. Killua could give that to him.

Of course, that was assuming Killua felt the same way. And from how close Killua was standing to him he was guessing the answer was yes. Adrian took a step back to try to catch his breath and calm his nerves when his back hit the wall behind him. Suddenly his nerves were on fire with excitement. He was tired of being scared. He was tired of being a liar about his whole life to everyone - including himself. So he took a deep breath before being honest for once. And hey, maybe if Killua didn't feel the same way he'd approach Zed about a hookup - he was pretty sure that was all he wanted from Adrian anyway.

"It's true, Killua... I don't know how he found out, honestly. I've only ever told one person about my sexuality, but it's true. I'm gay and you - you just make me feel so alive, Killua. I haven't felt alive in so long I almost forgot how that feels."

For a second Adrian felt as though he couldn't breathe.. He was shocked, not expecting that. His eyes were wide, staring at Killua. His brain was trying to process what was going on and his body felt like he was on fire. But then, he stopped hesitating. His brain may not have understood what was going on, but it knew what it wanted to do. It wanted to do absolutely everything with Killua Kravitz. It wanted to do that too the other night when it was high and in his bedroom. And again when they were on the couch playing 21 questions. But this time? It could.

So he closed his eyes and returned the kiss. He had kissed plenty of girls in the past. How was he supposed to break their hearts in exchange for validation without even kissing them, after all? But this was different. From the moments their lips touched all he could feel was pure electricity. He moved his hands into Killua's hair and tangled them in it. His hair was so soft. The softness of his hair... the roughness of the kiss... all of the sensations reminded him that this was real. Not only that, they made him feel alive.

He almost forgot what it was like to feel alive. This is exactly how that felt. The electricity, the heat, the passion, and the emotions. Those were all part of living and of the human experience. Then, as abruptly as the kiss started, it was over. Maybe the kiss only lasted a few seconds, but in Adrian's mind it felt like hours. No matter what would happen in the future, he'd never forget the first time he kissed Killua. He took a second to catch his breath, wrapping his arms around his neck. Then he examined his face. Fuck, Killua was beautiful. He may have been high when he said it, but damn did he mean it.

"Killua- I'm not sure what to say..."

Then he remembered something - well someone. Zedekiah. The last thing he needed was for later tonight for Killua to see some flirty text from Zed and get the wrong ideas. He was still going to be friends with Zed, of course, but he needed to be able to tell him that the flirting thing had to end. Besides, he doubted Zed had any emotions for it. Honestly, he wasn't sure if Zed was even romantically attracted to people at all - just physically. He decided to warn Killua just so he knew and wasn't shocked.

"There's something you should know. One of my career friends and I - Zedekiah - have been flirting. I need time to tell him about us, but honestly if you wanted to meet him he's pretty chill... I mean, if you want to be official."

That's when Adrian realised he was jumping the gun a bit. All Killua did was kiss him. Killua, much like Adrian, was a known heartbreaker. Maybe he just wanted something casual or a hookup. Adrian wanted more than that from him, but honestly at this point he didn't care. He just wanted Killua. And he was willing to define their relationship however he wanted. The kiss was a sample, and he was ready for a full course.

"Our relationship can be whatever you want it to be, I just want you. I've wanted you for a long time."