one more try to a lullaby { scout's honor

a v r i e l .

"We forgot to talk about Heaven
And leaving
And what it would mean
And how I would grieve"

The lake is too pretty.

It doesn't look like a real lake, it looks more like a description of one from some textbook and then copied exactly, but with some poetic embellishment. The water is too clear, glasslike and too pristine as if it was only just filled a week ago and when Avriel gazes out across the water, he can almost see right through it. The shadows of fish swimming ponderously through the aqua-coloured water are visible even fourty feet away.

Maybe it's meant to be peaceful but to Avriel it's unnerving. It reminds him of one of Duke's stories, the one about this boy in a rowboat and a mermaid. As far as he remembers, it didn't end well, something about the rowboat showing up on shore, empty but for the oars still attached to the sides bobbing gently in the shallows.

Parachutes drift slowly down in front of them, and collapse on the shore. The fabric seems to melt into the water, the string tangling up right away. It feels a little early to be receiving sponsorship, the bloodbath isn't even over yet as far as Avriel knows but their cowardice is being rewarded with gifts.

He's put the throwing knives Blade left him in the drawstring bag he picked up but the spear is still clutched safely in his hand. It's still too early in the games to really be killing, or at least Av thought so until the cannon sounded. It's better to be alert either way.

Footsteps approach and Avriel turns to see Areto coming towards the three of them. There's a storm cloud on her brow, waves of anger rushing over the swells and he can't help but wonder what it's like living like that. A heart must get broken countlessly being so exposed.

"Le Roux," she says and his chest tightens, crinkles like shattered glass for a moment, his next breath is painful before Areto says, "She's dead."

She.

He gazes after Areto as she walks across the shore, orders falling from her lips like a sea captain. It doesn't feel wrong though, Areto taking charge. She fits the role well and not for the first time, Avriel realizes how little he knows about her but one sunset on a rooftop isn't enough to know anyone. When she motions for him to follow her, his feet move first. It's nice not having to be the one in charge for once. For the last year, everything has been on his shoulders, his parent's deaths, the bills piling up on the kitchen counter and the visits from the Peacekeepers with no news, all were his to bear.

When his name was called at the reaping, he was almost relieved.

The bills will get paid or they won't but it won't matter to him anymore, it's no longer his problem. Maybe one day the peacekeepers will find his mom and dad's bodies but Av won't be there to find out, he'll be long gone. Duke and Bills will never know it was his fault, they'll never learn that he's been lying to them all year.

Suddenly the lake looks more peaceful.

He stands on the sand as the career from Four wades into the water and part of him feels like the boy in the rowboat again. Below the surface is somewhere he can't follow, Nine has a river but Avriel never learnt how to swim, the most he can do is float on his back and wait to be rescued.

Areto speaks softly but the water acts as a sounding board and her voice travels back loud enough for Avriel to hear. While part of him wonders why this wasn't information she could say in front of their allies, another part of him understands perfectly. There's something about the way that Blade and Ariel look at him that reminds him of Duke and Billie, like Panem hasn't got both its hands around their ankles, dragging them down into its great big maw.

Sometimes he looks down and realizes that he's already half eaten alive.

"I've seen the way Love can switch on and off and I wouldn't put it past him. Of course he's a threat, they all are," He gestures back towards the direction of the cornucopia, eyes on hers, looking for a hint of something other than anger. "But I don't work for you. and I'm not gonna be a tool for your revenge, Areto," he says carefully, "I don't even know if I can trust you, half the time you look like you wanna... I dunno drown me."

They have more in common than they think, he knows that. People don't just search out others to protect in a death games and they're both scrambling right now for normalcy by holding onto Ariel and Blade. There's a difference between them though. Areto walks with purpose, like every step is rightful and just and Avriel knows the things he's done just to survive and the selfish lies he's told to protect himself are inherently wrong.

"I'll do what I gotta to protect those two," he says, "But if you pull something stupid 'cause you're mad, you're putting us all in danger."

It's hard for him to maintain eye contact with anyone for long, let alone a vengeful-looking island warrior and he bends down to select a handful of rocks to throw in the water.

"You don't have to worry about me holding back anyway. If only one of us is gonna live, it's gonna be one of us."