too late to survive {2 demo-deer vs Gay Panic Day 2}

*   *   *

Bellamy is no place to be found, and Bubby and Mauve are both fast asleep, and all I can do is look at this bat. It feels so right in my hand, and right now I find myself staring at the back of Mauve's head. One good swing and Bubby will never know, and then I could turn it on him before he even woke up. Bellamy would know though, so when he came back from wherever he's at, I would have to turn on him too. It's simple, and then I could move forward on my own away from someone who criticizes me. I stand up, and I walk around a bit, and I hold the bat in my hand, and I'm trying to fight the urge, yet the urge goes away once Bellamy returns.

"Oh you're still up?" He asks, and I sit back down where I once was, but I don't answer him cause the answer is obvious. Of course I'm still up, but apparently he wants to know more. "What are you doing up?" I look at him and shrug my shoulders. "Oh wait, you're doing what I am supposed to be doing huh?" He's supposed to keep watch and keep us safe through the night. I know that I can't rely on him because he's in this for himself. "Don't want to die in my sleep you know? Wanna join me?" I hope he says no because he's making it hard to finish what my mind has started.

My hopes are crushed when he says he wants to join, and that dying in our sleep isn't fun, and I agree with him. Dying in sleep is probably the best way to go because I wouldn't even know it happened. Bellamy doesn't always sleep anyways. I simply look at him wondering what to even say, and I'm trying to smile and not show just how annoyed I am that he's keeping me here. "I know she's a lot, but she's useful. Sometimes it's better to bite our tongues and let her throw herself on a blade than ourselves." What he says is true, and as a career I know this, but she's pissed me off, and I want nothing more than for her to die by my hands.

"Useful? Yeah. That's it." Bellamy laughs, and it catches me off guard completely. What's so funny? "Aren't you a career? I mean, not to assume, but aren't all of you supposed to see the usefulness in people like Mauve?" He asks, and I look at Mauve sleeping so peacefully. "Just logically, I think Mauve, while psychotic at times, she's got some sort of charm to her." Charm? Is this guy crazy? What is wrong with him? But I get it standing up for your district partner is important. I just don't answer him because he's right, and I don't want to admit that out loud. I want to keep everything I can to myself. "To each their own I guess?" And all I do is nod my head.

A few moments pass by, and he starts speaking again, and this time it's more serious. "You trust me right?" I trust him as much as I can trust anyone in this game. I know this is a game where everyone is in it for themselves, and nothing else matters. I can have these people as allies, and that's all they are because ultimately I will kill them at the end of the game."Enough to sleep." It's the honest answer at least for now. He needs me just as much as I need him, and it seems that it's touched him in a way I didn't think it would. "Good. I'm glad. Not many people back home would say the same, y'know. I'm not really like most in Three. They've... well... they've got friends and family. I've only got Lucas and even he's left me..." I've never been good at consoling people, but I place my hand on his shoulder to let him know that I am there, and I sit there with him until I see the only face in the sky. Just twenty-two more to go.

Sometime through the night I must've fell asleep because I'm startled awake by this loud song like noise bellowing through the arena. My heart pounds against my ribs, and my eyes dart back and forth as it takes a moment to figure out what's going on. "Good morning Campers." It's the first thing I hear once the music is finished, and she goes on, and it sort of pisses me off. This is really just another day to them. They don't care about any of us, but what can I do?

I grab my stuff, and Bubby walks close to me, and I wonder if it's because he's so afraid of Mauve. I'll just let her kill him if it really came down to it. Less for me to do. I see these tables ahead, and I want to go sit at one. I want to relax and not sit on the ground for once, and maybe I can wipe away the sweat from my brow. And all of the sudden Bubby screams, and I turn around just as this mutt slices into the side of my face. Blood gushes down my cheek, and I don't show any sign of pain. I take my hand and wipe some blood from my cheek, and I wipe the blood onto my bat, and I look at the mutt. "If they want my blood so bad, they can have it." And I raise the bat, and I swing with all my might. They've messed with the wrong person, and I want them to realize it.

*   *   *

The world was a cruel place.

Alone and filled with a lot of fear; Bellamy had grown up to be different than most kids. Spending time away from others was all he knew for awhile. Curled up in his room with the same notepad and pencil in his hands as he scratches away at the paper until it's nothing more than his thoughts burned into a moment. Days where he felt alone in the universe where the stars glittered above at him and the smell of gunpowder upon his nose leaving a heavy sadness in his senses. He'd try to remember the way his father told him about the stars. Bright eyes that faded away to nothingness, but cold words in his ears.

The night was beautiful where they were, even if it was artificial. The Capitol was amazing for even making the night sky look the same as their own. Stars glittering with memories of his father taking him up and onto the roof that creaked with danger. Explanations of constellations and stars. Balls of gas that swirl round and round until they explode in a fiery fury. It's sad. There's always death at the end of everything. Even for stars, they died just like people do. Alone in the blackness of space, they died without anyone else. Just like himself if he's to die in this arena.

Coming back from his spot away from camp, he can see Liara. Her eyes piercing through the night, staring at Mauve with that deadly bat in hand. Worry builds in his chest as he looks from Liara to Mauve, wondering if the career would even try it. Bellamy couldn't stop her if he tried. The animosity was only going to grow over time. Build up over and over again until one of them dies. Whether that's from one another or someone else spares them from the explosion of the build up. Stretching his fingers and arm, he stares at Liara, wondering if he could stoke the flames. Instead, his voice escapes his throat, almost by accident.

"Oh you're still up?" It's a lame way to announce his presence. Obviously the career was up, he's not dumb. For a moment, he approaches a little quieter. His eyes looking over Mauve for a second and then back to Liara as he continues, "What are you doing up?" Shoulders shrugging with a heaviness he's familiar with. "Oh wait, you're doing what I am supposed to be doing huh?" Bellamy was meant to keep watch over the night. A watchful eye on everything going on around them, but he walked off for a little bit to give someone else a fright. Keeping watch would be easy, even if he wasn't nearby. Observation was his strength and he could easily have figured out if something was happening. Liara was a career though. Trained to be apart of these games, unlike the rest of them. Only, she wasn't exactly like the careers they see on television. Liara wasn't a Le Roux or Lumiere or Johnwayne or any other career family that was trained to kill and adopted that. Liara seemed to have her own method of using her training, but also still being a human underneath it all.

"Don't want to die in my sleep you know? Wanna join me?" An invitation to join Liara, the one who'd caught him looking for answers in the capitol, under the stars. "Sure! I get it. Dying in our sleep wouldn't be fun. I don't really sleep most of the time anyways." A laugh leaves his throat, filled with an irony bubbling up. Sleep doesn't come to him because he dreams of gunpowder and blood. Dying in his sleep would mean being trapped in all of those dreams over and over and over again. His mind racing a thousand miles an hour every night; there was not rest for him. Too much to think about. Too much to do. There's a smile on Liara's face, even if her body language is easily telling him she's not pleased with him joining her.

No one deserves to be alone. Not in the games, not in the districts, and not when they're anywhere in-between. The stars glitter above him as he stares out to them. Lonely lights in a sea of black where none of them will meet one another; lights echoing in a sky full of nothingness. One by one, those lights will go out. Alone and cold, they'll die. Mauve and Liara may not agree with one another, but he had to try to get them to get along. A miracle worker is what he needed. "I know she's a lot, but she's useful. Sometimes it's better to bite our tongues and let her throw herself on a blade than ourselves." Logical. Bellamy's always had his brain to rely on.

"Useful? Yeah. That's it." A laugh leaves his throat; heavy with the feeling of knowing Liara is right. Mauve isn't someone to care for or like. She's a tool to most of them, but he didn't know if there'd be regrets towards that, but their bet hangs heavy still in his mind. His district partner had already caused enough strife to put a death wish on her head. The question at the end was how many others wanted to kill Mauve. Liara was a career. Bellamy had assumed she would think the same as them, but with the way they had met, he's not sure she's just like any ordinary career. Not many careers would ask a Three to hack their sponsorship before the games even started. "Aren't you a career? I mean, not to assume, but aren't all of you supposed to see the usefulness in people like Mauve?" Watching her eyes move to Mauve, he can feel his heartbeat in his throat. "Just logically, I think Mauve, while psychotic at times, she's got some sort of charm to her."

Defending Mauve isn't his first priority. No, the alliance is what's going to keep him alive. The waves Mauve makes in the games towards other tributes would come to bite her back. She's different from others, but it doesn't make her someone he cares for completely. Home is all she reminds him of now. The bad parts of Three reside in her. The pieces he doesn't want to think about, but he's been alone for so long. Left by the boy he loved to suffer in the orphanage. The sun dimming away and a moon only left behind as the stars glitter too far away for him to feel safe. It's a quick addition, but he lets the words slip from him in anxiousness. "To each their own I guess?" A nod is all he gets.

The silence fills the space. Empty blackness above with glittering white stars staring back at them. Gunpowder in his nostrils once more as he can feel the kid inside of him yearn for comfort. Alone. He's been alone for so long. Lucas and even Sierra in a way had been the only ones he'd considered friends. Lights in a darkness he couldn't escape from. Except, he'd always end up alone. Their relationship had broken him in too many ways. Pushed him to his limits until he desperately clung on and wished to stay apart of their light, but he couldn't. The pain had shattered what was left in his heart and left only butterflies and broken glass. It's why his voice speaks up once more, a serious tone mixed with a desire to have someone on his side again.

"You trust me right?"

Heavy words in the air as he lets the earth burn to the ground around his own mind. A silence that fills his ears with the quiet desire to feel less alone in the world. A pain he's felt for so long bubbling along the surface as he lets his voice stay heavy in the air. Liara wasn't the one to trust with this, but he's already spilled some. "Enough to sleep." The surprise comes to him quietly. An echoing along the echo chambers of his own mind that tells him he has to handle everything himself since no one else will. It's touched a nerve he didn't expect to. A tear threatening to fall from his eyes, but he holds it back, stares up at the blackened sky with words he speaks from the depths of his chest. "Good. I'm glad. Not many people back home would say the same, y'know. I'm not really like most in Three. They've... well... they've got friends and family. I've only got Lucas and even he's left me..."

A hand softens on his shoulder, a soft reminder that there's some comfort in the world. A peace to be found between individuals, even ones who are meant to kill one another. The compassion that all humans share, even the ones who have none. Liara's surprised him once more, but he won't tell her that. His eyes stare up to the stars, lets himself watch them until the anthem shows only a single death. A Le Roux had died in bloodbath. A family of legacies burning to the ground. Someone somewhere would be crying; missing their sibling, but no one would if he had died.

Alone.

He would always be alone.

*   *   *

Morning comes with an announcement. A summer camp where blood spills didn't seem like a great place. Echoes of actual kids who should explore these grounds instead of the deadly mutts or tributes who cling desperately to their idea of survival. A silence fills him as he stretches out his muscles, ignoring the cracking sound of his bones from the awful way he slept. "I'm ready to collect," Mauve's already starting as they've started heading out for their day. The innocent smile on her face giving away what lurks underneath. A chaos that resides in people like Mauve; a killer walking for the fun of it and not from having to. His own voice escapes in a calm tone knowing whatever she decided to collect from their bet couldn't be too bad.

"It's time? What do you want Mauve?"

Stopping, he can see her eyes for a moment. The unnerving gaze of a girl who wasn't afraid to make herself an enemy to everyone. Liara and Bubby would continue on; they'll catch up eventually. "I thought it would be fun to go for the classic 'nudity' punishment." Her gaze turns even more unnerving as she glances at him up and down with a long look. Part of him wants to tell her to stop staring, but he's been admired before. Not like Lucas, but he's been told he's got a handsome face by some of the women who took care of them. "For the duration of the day you are allowed to wear: fanny pack, your boots, and that stupid piece of armour on your arm. The rest comes off. Oh and keep the gloves." Nudity. It's not exactly what he imagined to come from Mauve, but there had to be some ulterior motive to her desire to see him get nude. A shiver runs up his spine at the thought, but he's already started sweating and the bet could have ended up much worse.

"Nudity? That's much more humane than I expected," The snort comes with his laugh; Mauve had surprised him, but he's just happy he's going to make it out alive from this bet. Nudity was something he could handle. There wasn't much privacy at the orphanage. All of them have seen one another changing if they weren't careful, so this would be just like that, plus he had on some items that could cover up what he wanted. "Just don't stare too long. Not all of us are from Four and get sun all the time."

Turning away from her, he's already starting to unbutton the shirt and pants. The air turning much more cooler than what it was already, hot and humid air catching along his skin. A whistle from behind him as he can hear her words. "I make no promises." Mauve was pushing him already. Pressing what buttons she had left to entertain herself among all of the blood that needed to be spilled in the arena. Reassessing what he's taken off and the things he can wear, he moves them around to make sense. The rest of the outfit, including the sash taken off. All that's left is his armor and the fanny pack that he desperately hopes will cover his more intimate parts.

"I hope Atticus sent you some sunscreen, looks like you might need it."

"He didn't," Her laugh rings in his ears. "but I can work on my tan." A smile on his lips as the fanny pack is adjusted to cover what he can with what little he has. "Just know, next time, I'm going to win the bet. Let's get going." There's another laugh. This one echoes along his chest as the hot air touches him in ways he didn't really like, but would manage. The capitol was getting an eyeful, but he's not too bothered. If he's to make it out of here, they'd never give him privacy anyways. A little nudity didn't hurt to make more fans in the capitol either. Sponsors were an important part of the games. Atticus could use a little extra help. "We'll see,"

As he starts to catch up with Mauve, a scream catches his ears. Bubby's scream specifically. Taking off in the direction of Bubby and Liara, he can see them almost instantly. Large creatures with a large mass that'd surely hurt if they rammed into a tribute. Bubby and Liara having been struck by these beasts. The fire poker at his side feels heavy with the weight of his own decisions. Liara's speaking already; threatening the creatures like a career would. "If they want my blood so bad, they can have it." The strike breaks bone on the creature, a loud crunch in his ears as he feels his blood rise. Nudity be damned, he's not going to sit back and let the others get hurt.

"Oh man, that looks like it hurts," It's to Bubby. Bellamy can feel the unnerving gaze she has, but he doesn't say anything. "Tell me it hurts," Mauve moves after Liara, swinging an ax forward at the other beast that Bubby and Liara have left alone. The wound is weaker than the others. A moment to watch the scene is all he gets as his own voice starts coming out. "Is that all you've got, Mauve? I was expecting a little more from you." A joking wink thrown her way, knowing it'll either annoy her enough to pressure her to hit harder or she'll take his head off. He hopes she'll hit harder for his own sake.

Pushing forward with the fire poker, he lets himself consider the fact that he's not much of a fighter. Alone in the orphanage, he spent his days writing notes about what he can observe. So far, he could see a weakness in the creature's legs from Liara's strike. He'll have to use that to his advantage and try not to get trampled. His eyes look to Bubby and Liara as he gestures to his own look. "I'll explain later about how I look. Keep your guards up, these creatures seem deadly." He's stating the obvious, but it doesn't matter.

Bellamy refused to let himself be alone.

Not anymore.

Pushing forward, he strikes for the creature.

The smell of gunpowder in his nostrils and the feeling of metal in his hands.

*   *   *

“Tell me it hurts”

Mauve took pleasure in the blood pouring from my back as though it were whiskey from a tap. My pain and discomfort was a game for her. It was as if she lived to see me hurt. The gashes in my back weren’t visible to me but shimmered with so much pain that I was able to envision what they may look like. Not pretty. 

I turned to face her, if only to confirm her weapons were aimed at the beasts and not at me. I wasn’t expecting to find Bellamy exposed in ways I’ve seen only from the men in Four. He was gorgeous and sexy. I caught myself looking a bit too long before he made eye contact with me for a moment and I remembered the beasts of destruction.


I turned to them and threw forward my sword. I had no clue what to do with it. But my temple was sweating and it’s wasn’t because I was about to die. 

*   *   *

Her tongue clicks in frustration, the mutt moving out of her reach, her axe skimming its skin teasingly. But the beast had made a mistake, in avoiding Mauves blade it had run straight into Bellamy's, his swords opening a gash similar to the one on Liara's forehead, a flow of crimson liquid spilling onto emerald grass. With a wink Bell throws some belittling words at her, that have her eyes narrowing, her fingers tightening on the handle of her fire red axe.

"I pretty much lined that last one up for you, Detective Nudie," she hisses, ducking to the side to avoid the sweep of the mutt antlers. Bell isn't as quick, though, antlers slicing across the bare flesh of his stomach. A thin line of blood forms, bright against skin as pale as the moon on a cloudless night. "You should pay more attention to the mutt, and less to me. You could have dodged that," she pauses, smirking, "I did." The frustration that had lurked within her easing ever so lightly as the first drop of blood begins to run down his stomach.

Looking back down at her axe, she frowns once again, the blade had barely a smudge of blood. The metal shining, pristine, not even one scratch. Sighing she straps it to her waist, her eyes tracking Bubby as he lunged at the beast once again. The back of his shirt was dark, blood soaking khaki almost turning it black. Mauve had the urge to push her fingers into the wound, to bury them in deep and to twist, to hear that delicious cry that had escaped his lips the moment the mutt has impaled him. She was sure that he would start sobbing then, tear filled eyes turned to her as he pleaded her name and begged her to stop.

Excitement coursed through her and she took a step towards him, eyes locked onto the bloody mess of this back when she hears another cry rip into the air. It fills her ears and had her skin buzzing, filled with so much pain, and fear that her mouth started to water. Her gaze flicks over to the beast that had fallen victim to Liara, his back torn open, muscles and tendons torn and messy, Liara's bat covered in blood.

Mauve's eyes turn from the beast and to the girl, lips pulled back into a grin. Liara was strong, the perfect career. She attacked without remorse, her eyes focused, not wavering. Mauve was sure that the girl was enjoying herself, revealing in the cries and the desire to hear more growing and growing until it would consume her.

Liara Arterius was more like Mauve Morganstern than the girl wanted to believe.

Mauve would just have to show her.

Ripping her axe from her waist belt she gives Liara a wicked smile, "you're enjoying yourself, aren't you? The screams. The blood. The death. You like it." Her tongue flicks over her lips, her eyes darting to the beast in the corner of her eye. She would make it cry, its screams filling Liara the same way they filled her, and then she would chop it's head off and stuff it, use it as a pillow.

*   *   *

It's hurting, and it's nearing death, and I watch as it comes running toward me, and I simply step out of the way. This thing is barely standing, and it thinks it can outsmart me. I am a career. I have trained for this. I have done everything in my power to make sure I am ready for moments like these. Fear will only bring me down, and I need to know that I am living and that I am doing the best I can to simply stay alive and win this game. I fear nothing right now because it has no place in my mind.

I don't even care about the other mutt, and as I watch Bubby make a pathetic attempt at killing it, I know what I must do. I know that it's up to me to end its life so that I can get away from this mess alive, not to mention the meat on this thing looks so amazing and appetizing, and I want it all to myself. Of course, I'll share if I have to, but right now it's for me. I look at the blood on the bat, and I look at the mutt. It's mine. Mine to kill. I want to taste blood of something dying by my hands. I want to watch it crumble. I want to make it hurt.

Mauve speaks, and I can make out what she's saying, but right now my mind isn't focused on responding to her. All I care about is getting this mutt down on the ground and making its heart stop beating. I want this. I want this moment for myself, and while it's not a tribute I am killing, this is a mutt, and it's quenching my thirst. It's making me even more powerful. I raise the bat into the air and all I can hear is blood rushing through my veins, and my heart pounding loudly in my ears. It won't take much. I could push it over, and it would die, but I want more than that.

I strike it as hard as I can, and once it falls I strike it over and over and over smashing it making sure that it is dead. Blood splatters across me, and I take a step back breathing in the air around me. I look at my allies, and for the first time I hear what Mauve said. I let it float through my mind, and I lower the bat to my side. "I love it. The blood, death, all of it. Ending life is what I'm here for." I look at the rest and I stare at the other mutt. One down. One to go. I want to see what Mauve is capable of.