only a matter of time | prop & lock

Three days had gone by, and there were still twenty-one other tributes in the arena. Twenty-one lives would have to be lost for me to see my little brother again. Twenty-one other tributes that each had their own families to return home to at the expense of Six's life. Death had never looked me in the eyes so closely before, yet all of my selfishness wanted it to continue glaring, seething into the eyes of all the other tributes until it finally captured him. Then Six would arrive home, smiling as he stepped off of the train and spotted us, his family.

I am the goofy sibling, the class clown, the one that everyone makes laugh in times of desperation. Yet even I couldn't crack a joke as I watched Estelle, Six's district partner, bleeding out after being viciously attacked by a Sheepish.

But as I always tell our little siblings, we are O'Malleys, and O'Malley's don't give up. Even as Six struggled to fight the muttation on Day Two, I turned to my siblings and told them Six was a fighter. And as each day went on, his fight would grow stronger and stronger, until the last tribute was gone and he was crowned the victor. And he would come back and we could all go for diner pancakes and live happily. And all we had to do was cheer from him on the sidelines, say a prayer for him each night before we go to bed, and get through the worst week of our year.

Though, I was exhausted. Feigning a smile during the most destitute of times took its toll on me, and all I had wanted to do was lay in bed and never wake up until Six was back home. But, I had to be strong, just like Six was being.

Yet I was a hypocrite. I had never shed so many more tears in my life.

"Prop, let's go for a walk," I walked into my older brother's room, cheeks puffy and red shedding light on my sorrows. The good thing about Prop was that I never needed to be his protector, his source of comedy when everything seems like a tragedy. He never expected me to be there for him like my younger siblings. He understood grief better than I did. Being with him was like a breath of fresh air after my lungs were drowning in my false optimism.

And as we stepped outside of the O'Malley farm, I had never felt more alive than I had since Six was reaped. The sun was shining, the breeze gently touched my skin keeping us cool. I wrapped my flannel around my waist as I looked beyond the farm, home. Filled with life and activity, yet without Six it felt terribly empty.

I turned to Prop. "I'm exhausted," I told him, hoping that he would understand.