imagine if? [annaliese/hamilton]

After her initial breakdown, Annaliese took some time for some self-care. She took a warm bubble bath to relax and wash off her smeared makeup. She changed into some pajama bottoms and a comfortable tank top. She then brought some blankets and pillows from her room into the living room so she could relax and watch some television with some snacks and drinks. However, whenever she was reminded of Taxxon the tears risked flowing again.

When she heard a knock at her door, she braced herself. She assumed it was Taxxon delivering her test. Or maybe he was there to apologize, but he doubted it. She thought even if he had a friend buy it he'd deliver it in person or have his father. That way no one extra needs to know they hooked up - let alone about their pregnancy scare. For that reason, she didn't bother moving her blanket and it was still wrapped around her as she entered the front hall.

Many homes may have a living room for the front door, but hers was further within the large manor. Instead, it was a decent size hallway with three doors not including the front door. There were also coats hanging and hat racks. Along the walls were seats and end tables, all of the furniture looking like it could feed a family from the lower districts for months. Despite how old the house was, all of the paint and wallpaper was newly renovated to keep it looking nice.

When she opened the door, she thought the same words that Barrsy spoke. Oh shit. There was only one reason Hamilton Barr would show up outside her home without even knowing it was her home. Taxxon had to have sent him. Which honestly would anger her if she wasn't feeling so exhausted from her day today. She stared at him for a moment before blinking. Maybe it was a minsunderstanding. And if he didn't know she slept with Taxxon she wasn't planning on telling him.

"Hamilton, what are you doing here? Can I help you?"

Her voice sounded calm, but her eyes gave her away. They were red and puffy. Her cheeks were stained with tears. This was the look of a girl who had just gotten her heart broken. Even a fool like Barrsy could see that surely. As soon as the words Taxxon, test, or pregnancy spilled from his lips she would pull him into the house. Her neighbors couldn't find out. That would be the fast track to her mother and the world finding out. District One had snakes all around.

annaliese belrose

She felt her heart drop as soon as she saw the pregnancy test. He knew. Perhaps that was the worst part about this whole thing. The reason they broke things off was because she slept with him in the first place. And now Barrsy knew she slept with him. Other people knowing made it worse because she couldn't just pretend it had never happened. People knew they were together.

She had to do damage control. She had to make sure that Barrsy didn't tell anyone else about her and Taxxon. And she sure as Hell wasn't going to be able to do damage control with him standing in front of her home waving around a pregnancy test for all of the world to see. She practically yanked off Barrsy's arm as she pulled him inside and shut the door behind him. They were going to have a little chat.

"Hamilton, would I be able to speak with you a moment privately? We can either go into the Drawing Room - though you'd probably call it the first living room - or my room. But, I just need to make sure we have an understanding regarding this situation. And I don't need the chef, the maid, or the gardener overhearing."

Her mother may not have been home but that didn't mean she had the freedom do as she pleased. After all, she wasn't sure if the people they hired to help around the house had any sort of agreement with her mother to report anything that they heard. She could even see her mother paying them extra to report on Annaliese. At this point her mom wanted any excuse to make her stop being a career. And sleeping with Taxxon Kandrona? That's a good excuse.

As Barrsy entered the home he could see that there was a wide entry way connected to the hall with stairs wrapped around either side of it - a grand staircase. Annaliese remembered Barrsy's house and realised that this was probably a lot for him. He definitely wasn't poor, but just like the Belrose family and the Kandrona family were on two different levels - the Belrose family and the Barr family were even further apart. And that's what scared her.

He didn't know how much damage he could do to her. A few words for him and his family status could skyrocket as he sold her out while her life shattered before her eyes. She wasn't going to tell him how easy it would be to make money by selling the story, instead she was just going to emphasize the importance of his silence. She didn't want her plan of damage control to backfire and that's why she needed to be extremely careful about this whole thing.

Annaliese was going to be nice to Barrsy rather than threaten him like she might Taxxon. Threats would get her nowhere with a guy like Barrsy. Unlike the Kandronas or the Belroses he had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Even if she threatened him it's not like she could do anything that would actually scare him. That's why she needed to make sure he was on her side. Taxxon was a guy, his reputation would be far less hurt with accusations of hookups than a young womans. She knew that. Everyone knew that.

annaliese belrose

What was with people today and asking all of the wrong questions? Everyone wanted to hear the answers Annaliese knew in her heart but feared putting out into the open. Taxxon had asked if she was going to abort it if she was positive. And now Barrsy wanted to know why Taxxon wasn't here. She didn't want to answer either question, but would have to.

She thought it should be obvious by looking around why he wasn't here. The fancy sofa was covered in pink blankets and silk pillows. The small table in front of it had an empty ice cream container with a spoon. And there was a box of tissues sitting not far. This wasn't the living room of an heiress to vast wealth. No, it belonged to a teenage girl going through her first broken heart.

As much as she hated it she had to come to terms with the fact that she had feelings for Taxxon Kandrona beyond lust. And she had to come to terms with the fact that he had broken her heart today. She never thought a boy like him would be the cause of this, but here she was. And now more than ever she regretted sleeping with him. It made her feel dirty. It really made her self-worth plummet being slept with then discarded days later.

She looked away from Barrsy as he asked, trying to retain what was left of her dignity. But, as she tried to speak tears began to slid down her cheeks. Right now, she wasn't the mysterious and terrifying heiress he and everyone else had seen at the academy. She wasn't the seductress who had lured in Taxxon at the party. She wasn't Annaliese Belrose. She was just a girl and that was it. A girl in pain.

"He- I- Earlier he broke things off between us. I'm not sure why I was surprised. How I tricked myself into thinking that the fact he called me pretty meant something. The way his eyes shown under the stars and the gentle way he fixed my hair. It made me feel special. Then once we were alone, he was so patient and kind the whole time. I felt a sort of closeness with him I had never felt before. I told him things about myself I never told anyone."

"But, I was too stupid to see he just wanted to be able to say he slept with me. And that he broke my heart. I wanted to avoid either of those things, but he got what he wanted. I was just foolish enough to think he wanted me for more than one use. That anyone would want me for more than that or as a piece of arm candy or as a human wallet.".

She was pouring out her soul to Barrsy, all of the emotions and feelings she had been locking inside of her heart. Taxxon had just wanted to see if he could do it and he did. He got her to sleep with him. And now here she was, crying over some drug dealer. She didn't realize he truly was trying to protect her. She was busy drowning in hurt and pain. She didn't think they would date, but she thought he'd want her around for more than a night.

"You must think I'm pathetic, huh? I know Taxxon probably did. He said he was ending things because he wasn't good for me. Me sleeping with him wasn't good for me either. If he cared wouldn't he have stopped it before it got to that point? Before me having to show up on his doorstep and explain what was going on to his father?"

annaliese belrose

Despite everything happening, Annaliese was clinging desperately onto the last shreds of dignity she had left. Sure, she was crying. Yes, she was pouring out her heart to the likes of Hamilton Barr. But, she was still a Belrose. She still held her head high and still tried to speak with a certain level of grace, no matter how hard it was. She sat up straight and after she spoke took a deep breath in through her nose and out through pursed lips.

Annaliese listened to the boy speak, wiping off her face with tissues then closing her eyes, focusing on his words and trying to regain her composure again. That was embarrassing. But the longer she lingered on the embarrassing moment the more it would stay fresh in everyone’s mind. That’s one of the first things she was taught as a child. Take all of life’s humiliations with grace and forget they ever happened. If you forget so will the world.

She wanted to pry for more information. Why would she need saved from Taxxon? What was so bad that everyone seemed to want to rescue her from him? But, she didn’t want to break down again. No, she didn’t want to think about Taxxon right now. And, part of her was intrigued by Barrsy.

Barrsy had given her a genuine compliment. He came as a favor for Taxxon. Yet, here he was. Listening to her. Helping her feel better. This was a side of Hamilton she had never expected to see. And she appreciated it. She wondered which Barrsy was the real one. Was it the one who had watched her cry in pajamas? Or was it the one with alcohol in his hand, laughing at her trying to buy drugs from Taxxon? Or maybe it was a mix of both.

Then she wondered about herself. Who was she really? Beneath all of the makeup and designer clothes. Who was Annaliese Belrose? If she was just born a normal, middle-class or below girl, who would she be? Was she really the respectable and graceful person she showed the world? Was she the crying teenager Barrsy had seen? What about the rebellious and fun side Taxxon had brought out?

She tried not to think too hard about it, already getting lost in her own thoughts. She had almost forgotten about the reason Barrsy was here. Almost. The pregnancy test. She still had to take it. She took a look towards the door. The nearest bathroom was just down the hall meaning she’d have to trust Barrsy alone for a couple a minutes. She doubted he’d be stupid enough to try to steal from them, but she was worried about him deciding to explore the manor.

”Thank you, Hamilton. Truly. For the compliment and for listening. Now, I should probably take the test. Do you mind waiting here for a moment? I’d hate for you to get lost and this way before I escort you out you can message Taxxon the results for me. I doubt you want to sit here with me all day, knowing that you don’t have a chance of ‘scoring’ with me as you’d put it.”

annaliese belrose