wilder zane // cp

B-Side now.

...

What gives? 

Something about all these high standards are making Wilder a very irritable person. For the purpose of this expose, we'll be referring to Wilder as 'they,' but it changes as they wish -- most things do! It's something about versatility and growth, they talk too poor of the binary reaping system to stick to a label they don't care for anyways. Instead, they're consumed by the question of identity; it's a cosmic horror, a funny trick of nature. 

Cursed with expression, they find themself crushed by the system a bit too often. 

It's a compressing feeling, lounging on a love seat designed for three and the weight of society caught in the upswing of every breath. Like by breathing against gravity, Wilder pushes against expectations -- normally they don't care. Two years ago, they would've laughed at anyone who questioned them just from how solid they felt. How unshakeable, like the Hollywood build board. Astrid is a Gamemaker, the news is amazing; of course, she panics. It's hypocritical to be frustrated with her sometimes, how she dances away from the limelight all while demanding it. 

But, what's good for her is good for Wilder, family is the one thing deeper than money. Their baby sister is one of Panem's most influential for a year, and Wilder sees it in their album sales -- Gulliver (87) tops charts in a way unprecedented for their career. 

A year passes, and Wilder realizes it was never about them at all. 

The Capitol has never been so crowded, yet, they feel so alone. Crushingly so, heavier than reality in the way they never outrun the frustration. 

Wilder returns to their studio and finds a love note from Ariadne. Something simpler than that -- they care for her, they really really do, but Love Notes is only her album. It's comforting that it isn't deeper, when the press questions their relationship Wilder has nothing to fear. They can't break a promise to Ariadne, and that's someone with enough fight to be worth the loyalty. 

But they listen to Love Notes while cleaning the studio from the night before. Loose blunt grinds swept up from the desk top & put back in the jar, white powder swept up & thrown in the trash -- they just need to get B-Side done. Finish up the contract just as methodically as ripping out all the hair on their head starting at the goddamn nape. They were told Pennychaser is still on the Oracle Top 100, just slowly dropping off under some kids from District 1. 

Ridiculous. 

A mockery that the districts can even compete against egos like themself; fucked. 

Death of Disco was dead in the water, released the day before the drop of Sampson Crowe's Disco Tits. Critics say it was outdone, that Wilder never had a chance against a song featuring Marsha Mellow. 

Part of Wilder isn't convinced, not yesterday, not today & definitely not tomorrow. There's something about a Capricorn Rising that can't be kicked too far down, a mountain goat becomes a music G.O.A.T. At least, that's the plan. Wilder's consulted astrology and their business agent, and they both say success in the cards! 

At this point, the Charts just need to catch up to Wilder, really.