cautionary tale. kellan.

"Let's start with when you arrived to the party. I need you to tell me everything that happened from the moment you entered."

"Christ. Who even is this g- Who are you? Are you new? Do you not know how this works?"

"My name is Detective Hollins. I've been a keeper for twenty-two years now, far from new. I also know who you are, Mr. Fray. And I know that normally your charges would likely be dropped within the hour-"

"Great, so let's make it a nice, quiet hour. No need for either of us to waste our time."

"I also know you have been arrested... whew, according to your chart...7, 8... 9 times. And not a single night spent in jail."

"I'm picky about my mattress."

"Public intoxication twice, disturbing the peace, assault? Against four separate individuals?"

"I have problems with authority."

"But I also know a couple more things. I know you haven't been released yet. And I know you haven't met me before. I'm a real by-the-book kind of guy, you feel me?"

"No. I do not feel you."

"Start with when you arrived at your in-laws' house."

"Are you seriously going to make me tell this entire story again?"

"Are you?"

"Christ. Okay, yes, I arrived at about six o' clock."

"Social visit?"

"My father-in-law's birthday. So, yes and no."

"What does that mean?"

"It means it's his birthday, so I had to show up. But it also means he is a a terrible human being  and I don't much care to interact with him or those he surrounds himself with."

"So, you had a pre-existing hatred of him?"

"Yeah. Kind of hard not to."

"Is that why you attacked him?"

"What's funny, Mr. Fray?"

"Sorry, I'm not trying to make light of this or anything. It's just- you said 'attacked' like I beat him up or something. I didn't. I could have. I should have. I didn't. I just... popped him in the mouth so he'd stop talking."

"Why? What was he saying?"

"He was talking about my wife."

"His daughter?"

"Not her fault."

"What did he say about her?"

"He- That's private. He just- was being an asshole like always, and I finally heard enough. End of story. Big man makes big fuss when big pride is crushed."

"Your wife's name is Pyrite. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"And she is currently seeking treatment for alcoholism."

"Is that a question?"

"Is that what your father-in-law was talking about?"


"Mr. Fray?"

"They're just- you won't understand, okay? They're just too hard on her. It's what made her drink in the first place, them expecting all that from her! Blaming her for other people's shortcomings. Failure or success, it's never enough for them."

"For who?"

"Any of them."

"I'm gonna be honest here, Mr. Fray. He's mad. He's demanding punishment."

"He's welcome to try. Our lawyers are better, and we're in better standing with the Capitol right now."

"You mean your father's lawyer is better and your brother is in better standing though, right?"

"That might cost you your badge."

"It says here that past arrests have been resolved with recommended anger management classes and therapy. Did you ever partake in either?"

"Yes."

"Could you or anyone you can think of verify that for me? Or are you lying?"

"Had to at least try."

"I'm submitting mandatory anger management classes and a week's stay in a cell as my suggestion to the judge."

"You're fucking joking. I have to work!"

"Mr. Fray, according to our records, you've never worked a day in your life."

"Oh, nonsense. You're an idiot if you believe that. Never worked a day in my life, yeah, maybe not at any official capacity, but I do. I have. I'm a trainer."

"Right. Apologies. You work as a trainer."

"That's always the assumption with you guys, isn't it? 'They're rich! They have no problems! Nothing bad ever happens to them, and if it does, so what! They're rich!' Right?"

"I'm sorry, but you understand why I find that funny, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, just minutes ago you were agreeing with me when I said your charges would likely be dropped within the hour. Now you're telling me you have problems money cannot solve. It's confusing, isn't it?"

"Are we done here?"

"Tell me what he said. Give me something to work with here. I'm sure you're right: he's probably an asshole. I get it, believe me. But you gotta meet me half way."

"It doesn't matter. The charges will never stick. I'll dispute them and he won't want to cause a public spectacle."

"I think it's a bit late for that. I'm just being real here, this one isn't just going away. You want to work with me on this, not against me."

"I'm not staying in jail."

"Fine. I'll drop the time and add in a weekly therapy session. Mandatory as well."

"He said she was off to a bad start. Her mom was yammering on and on about both of us making sure we start off on the right foot so we could be good parents, and he said, 'As if Pyrite hasn't already royally screwed that up.' No reason. She wasn't even there. I told him, I said, 'She's doing the best thing she can do for them right now.'"

"Go on."

"He said 'We were talking about starting off as good parents, and it is just the objective truth that Pyrite- as she always seems to be- is off to a bad start, that's all.' and then he took a bite of his steak and smiled. Like there was no way someone would be offended by that."

"So you hit him?"

"No, Christ. I told him to drop it. I told him she was trying, that we both are. He just laughed and said something about how she was only complying because it was court-ordered. I told him he was wrong. He doesn't like to be wrong. He got in my face and started making threats about taking the kids away after they were born, saying he was ashamed that his daughter was an alcoholic and I- yeah."

"So that's when you hit him?"

"I think my intention was to just close his mouth but, yeah. I hit him."

"And?"

"And he finally shut the fuck up."