rise for the last time /sc vs np
Aug 2, 2021 2:50:21 GMT -5
Post by ✌ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ on Aug 2, 2021 2:50:21 GMT -5
a v r i e l .
"You won't come back again
Even if the world should end
Still I would never let
Anybody else come in"
Some of Blade's blood gets on his hands.
Avriel sits there silent for far longer than he should. She's long gone already, her lips pale and skin starting too cool. Maybe that's from the rain though, that cold. It's painful to believe that it isn't, that it's just from her muscle and skin slowly cooling, their jobs long over.
"They bring people back all the time," he tells her eventually, "Seen it in the eighty-fifth."
She doesn't answer.
(He knows that she isn't coming back.)
The surface of the lake calms in the hours that follow the fight and Avriel shivers a little, clothing still wet from the swim only a few hours ago. A little pot of goo sits beside him in the sand, forgotten. He can't even remember why he jumped in, to follow Julian maybe, drown him. To hurt her, that girl, Waverly, to take from her as she'd taken from him.
"Avriel, stand up," Areto says.
He shakes his head and pushes his feet into the sand. He's shaking, fingers numb and pink from the cold, knobby looking, useless. He wipes blood off of Blade's cheek.
"No."
All that fire still burns deep inside, that hatred eats away at the lining of his stomach but exhaustion grips him. His arms are sore from the swim, his lungs burning from swallowing too much water. It's easy to sit here and listen to the sound of the waves and pretend that Blade and him are just watching another sunset like on that first day.
Areto says something else, a threat maybe but Avriel isn't listening anymore. She can leave him in the sand if she wants to, she can keep going with Ariel in tow and they'll have each other just like how Avriel had Blade. They'll be okay without him.
"I don't think I'm ever gonna know someone so easy again," he whispers, "Wasn't ever so good at that kind of thing."
Areto sits down in the sand beside him and Blade, and for a moment it's easy to forget that she's in pain too.
"Friends, I mean. I'm not good at friends."
He's got a glitch, always has.
His brow furrows and his hands squeeze into tight fists around handfuls of sand. He thinks about Waverly, Julian, Love. Intellectually, he knows it's wrong to blame them. It's kill or be killed in the hunger games and they just want to live too. It doesn't matter what he understands though, it doesn't matter because all he can feel is anger.
Remorse too.
But anger is easier, a burning thing that he can cup in his hands and squeeze until it bursts and he never got angry, not even last year when his parents were killed. Avriel didn't even yell. He couldn't grieve, couldn't lay flowers at a marked grave, he couldn't hold Billie and cry and be a little boy.
He had to stand there and lie and tell Duke that 'mom and dad are definitely coming back.'
And from there, lies grew easier.
I'm fine.
(Always fine.)
He thinks about disappearing so often he used to daydream about slipping through the perimeter fence in Nine and just running for as long as he could. Those thoughts come back so easy, the quiet voice he's never been able to ignore, "Die."
Why should I?" he asks quickly, What will that do?
It won't bring Blade back.
The voice doesn't answer, the rage simmers, Avriel pushes his face into shaking, open palms and he opens his mouth as if to scream but nothing comes out.
"Come Avriel."
He stands on shaking legs to follow Areto into the tree line for some shelter and he leaves Blade on the shore. The further away he gets, the angrier he feels, it's all so unresolved.
The sun goes down eventually because it always does and Avriel lies there in the darkness, watching the anthem because for a brief moment, there's Blade. She looks different than the girl he knew in her portrait, shy and nervous.
He wishes she was down here in the dark with him.
Av lays there for a long time after the anthem has ended, so tired but unable to sleep. It feels as if his heart is trying to run out of his chest and he knows what it is. It isn't his first panic attack, that one came for him about a month after his parents died. He hid in the closet in the kitchen until Billie and Duke finally left for school without him.
He curls in on himself under the cover of night and waits for it to pass, or at least for the sun to rise.
But the day never brightens. There's no grey-blue silence before the sun rises, no tendrils of golden light pushing through the canopy, no warmth.
There's only endless dark.
But why should the sun rise again?
Avriel pushes himself up into a sitting position, grimacing slightly from the way his legs stiffened overnight. Some of the cuts have started to heal but every time his skin starts to close, he takes another hit. He's given up on ever being able to walk without pain again.
He stands, waiting to adjust to the darkness but it seems impossible, as if a lays of ink has settled over everything.
"Arie-" he starts.
A loud, staticky squealing sound cuts him off as the PA system boots up for the morning announcement and for a moment, Avriel wonders if it's all a mistake. Maybe this is just a fever dream and there are still a few more hours left he can rest. The screeching sound persists though, cutting through the morning like a broken alarm clock. Avriel plugs his ears and gestures at the other two.
Despite the dark, he can mostly remember what direction the beach is in. As they walk, he realizes that the swirling ink is mist that settles onto his clothing, leaving him perpetually damp.
The sun may always set but it doesn't always rise.
It feels like a broken promise.
When he makes out forms in the mist walking towards him, Avriel throws a hand up, eyes on the figures. For the first time, Avriel doesn't hesitate. He holds a finger to his lips and then sends a knife whistling into the darkness towards the closest of the three shapes.
He won't lose this time.
[avriel attacks mauve with throwing knife]
iAUaDXRACGthrowing knife
Knife in Calf -- 6.0 damage + 1 tg
