saint / capitol . fin

SAINT.

I haven’t done half of the shit I’ve been accused of.

Did I pay someone to do my final exams? Hell fucking yes. Does this beautiful face look like it's meant to get all scrunched up and frustrated because I don’t know how to calculate the trajectory of a knife or remember the name of one of the old ass Victors? I don’t think so. And did I light Mrs. Shirley’s hair on fire? Perhaps, but honestly who could blame me, that annoying hag had it coming! And yeah, I might’ve set a few dozen rabid mutts loose during a kid’s birthday party just to hear them scream and I possibly threw a chair at my teacher for sending me to the front office after I made a comment about his receding hairline.

But everything else wasn't me!

You know contrary to popular belief, I was not the one who pushed Mr. Hettefield into that pit of acid last year. Would I have liked to see the skin melt of his face? Most definitely. But did I do it? No fucking way. I might be just a tad bit fucked in the head, but if I was going to hypothetically murder someone, I would've been more creative than a pit of acid. Like hello? That is so a decade ago.

I would've done something more fun and exotic and mainstream. Like recording it and posting the video to social media, because the media is everything today. Anyone who is someone nowadays got there because of it. Whether it be a collab with a major artist or a scandal on the front page news - any kind of publicity makes you worth something.

Like when I got caught on video throwing flaming piles of shit at my ex and #SaintSlaughterIsOverParty was trending for three fucking days. Tons of articles written about how I'm 'unhinged' and I swear Holly grilled me for hours for getting her name dragged through the mud along with mine. But I used all of that free publicity to launch my music career and now my debut album is one of the most anticipated releases of the year.

Us Slaughter Siblings sure know how to make headlines, that's for damn sure. Holly fucked a victor and is now the host of the reality show, The Castle Game. How's that for a jump to stardom?

I don't know where we get it from honestly. Mom's a scientist and I'm pretty sure she's allergic to anything remotely exciting. And I'm fucking glad Dad doesn't keep with the tabloids because I think he'd disown me if he found out some of the things I've done. Holly and I were as thick as thieves when we were growing up, always getting ourselves into a mess, but she was smarter than I was. Always more calculated and meticulous. I once stole one of the journals she always had her nose stuck in, but I had to put it right back where I found it because it gave me a headache.

I'm going to be more popular than her one day though. Once my album releases and anyone who is someone wants to work with me, maybe I'll be gracious enough to let one of my songs be featured on her new show.