anh chi phan. district two. fin.

Deleted 0 POSTS last seen Nov 21, 2024 8:48:37 GMT -5	anh chi phan. district two. fin. Sept 9, 2021 22:09:13 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2021 22:09:13 GMT -5 𝐀𝐍𝐇 𝐂𝐇𝐈 𝐏𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐓 𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐑
	Last Edit: Sept 9, 2021 22:52:21 GMT -5 by Deleted

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anh chi phan. district two. fin. Sept 9, 2021 22:52:02 GMT -5

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Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2021 22:52:02 GMT -5

Honor. Glory. Pride. Victory.

Those are all the things my family holds above all else. Yet, they're the things I have yet to accomplish. I hope, that I can one day make my family proud. Even if I have to kill for it. After all, isn't that what being a career is about? Killing. Ending the life of someone else. Morals aside, winning is all that matters in that Arena.

My family can be... cold to say the least, though they aren't unloving. They just have a difficult time showing love. My little brother, he is having trouble adjusting to the idea of being a career. But, he doesn't understand it. If one of us becomes a Victor, it'll make mom and dad happier than anything else either of us could ever do. He doesn't get it, I think it's the idea of killing that gets to him. He's soft.

I used to be soft like him too. But years of training ironed that out. There's no room for softness when it's kill or be killed. No time or space for mercy when you only have a week to ascend onto that golden throne of Victorhood. I pray that he never gets chosen, because while I love my brother, he wouldn't make it. That's just the harsh reality we live in. Someone like me would slit his throat in an instant.

I'm the quiet type. I don't talk much, to family, friends, or strangers alike. Talking is how you show vulnerability, it's how you let people in to see your weaknesses and your deepest insecurities. And, my parents prefer us to be silent regardless. But, there's good about the quietness.

If you're quiet, they'll never see you coming. They'll never notice you skulking behind them. Taking whatever you need out of their backpacks. Slipping a little something into their water bottle. Or even in school, people whisper. They tell secrets and spread rumours. And, they never notice you standing there. Watching and listening, finding information to use against them later. Especially so when your memory is as good as mine.

Outside of training and school, I don't have a lot of friends. I don't need a lot of friends either. All they are to me is competition. Competition to see who can be at the top of the class. Competition to volunteering. Competition in the Arena in a battle of death and glory. Or, if we all survive to see adulthood, competition in the job market. That's all life is - a series of competitions.

I don't want to kill. I'd try to win with as few unnecessary causalities as possible if I ever am in the Games. But that doesn't mean I won't kill. Look at what hesitation has done to tributes in the past. Six O'Malley hesitated and ended up with a spear in the neck. Emerson Le Roux hesitated and ended up with the same fate. Meanwhile Waverly St. Amor stayed on deaths doorstep for days before finally dying. That's because she didn't hesitate once.

If I do make it to nineteen, I've tried to think about what I'd like to end up doing. Part of me says I want to be a career trainer. But there's a look about them. A look of sadness, a look of constant grief everytime someone not from two wins. And part of me wonders if I'm ready for that life. Only time will tell. And maybe, just maybe, that will be the only way I can ever make my parents proud. Make my family proud. Because if not through death, I doubt there's any other way.

Deleted 0 POSTS last seen Nov 21, 2024 8:48:37 GMT -5	anh chi phan. district two. fin. Sept 9, 2021 22:52:28 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2021 22:52:28 GMT -5 ripred_bot

Deleted 0 POSTS last seen Nov 21, 2024 8:48:37 GMT -5	anh chi phan. district two. fin. Sept 10, 2021 12:30:08 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Deleted on Sept 10, 2021 12:30:08 GMT -5 no hesitation queen !