i'm not your problem anymore | {mackenzie/maxine
Sept 23, 2021 22:00:12 GMT -5
Post by umber vivuus 12b 🥀 [dars] on Sept 23, 2021 22:00:12 GMT -5
He can't really even remember what it is he's angry at anymore, but he needs something to blame the hurt on, so he's settled on thinking it's his fuckwad dad. Walking with one hand tucked into the pocket of his coat, the other clutching a tray containing a pair of coffees like he'd float away without them there to anchor him down. His eyes are half-lidded, red, and swollen beneath his sunglasses, chewing on chapped lips until they're pressed pink. Each step is anxious but intentional- guiding him to a precise location. He's been begging Marley for the information for months now, to no avail, which figures. But last night at dinner, he fucked up and mentioned it by name and now Mackenzie can't stop thinking about it. He's warred with himself over it, started the trip over and turned back three times already, and it's still midday. The last time, he'd almost made it all the way there before deciding he couldn't show up empty-handed. He'd detoured all the way to the square and picked up two coffees. Except, here's the thing. By this point, he's decided she doesn't deserve coffee. OR maybe neither of them do. Whatever, she's the one who ran away, and that's been her problem since they were kids, and she doesn't get to keep doing it over and over and expect people to be alright with it. It's like sisters are programmed to be dramatic at the drop of a hat. His exhale comes out as a cloud and chills crawl down the nape of his neck. Back in the good days, they'd probably be setting up for lunch about now, each mocking the other's snare setups and betting whose will catch rabbits first. Or they'd be stuffing garbage into the mailbox of a certain ex-mayor, or drawing up plans to hijack a hovercraft and fly the two of them and their mom far, far away from here. "Never look back?" she asked, and he smiled. "Never." If their dad had been around, they would've probably, hopefully had a more normal relationship with him. And if that were true, it'd mean the large bulk of what bonded Mackenzie and his sister would be drastically different. Maybe they wouldn't have been as close as a result, or maybe they were always meant to be yin and yang and if they'd had a stable upbringing they would've just bonded over their mutual love of gardening or some shit. But this is what they were dealt, and he's decided that somehow that is his Dad's fault and so that's why the first time he made this trip, he stopped by to throw a rock through the window. He wonders if the old man has ever put it together, or if he's still just as much of a clueless prick now as he was then. "I need to speak with Max." It's all he can do to sound polite. He thinks of a thousand mean and cruel things he is going to say to her. He thinks of how angry he'll be when she walks out, how he's gonna pour her coffee out while she watches, how Mom agreed that she was being ridiculous at dinner last week and anything else he might think up in the moment. He wanted their old friendship back, too. He wanted his old life back, too. He wanted it so, so bad. He's practically hyperventilating with rage by the time she makes her debut, and he's surprised to instantly feel a weight being lifted from his shoulders. All the rage he felt before takes a rest on his tongue, rendering it too heavy for him to use in the moment. "Marley can't keep his god damn mouth shut for five minutes, huh?" He just stares, grateful as ever for the sunglasses to hide the welling up of tears within his eyes. "Or was it Elena? Those two are something else." He blinks them away as they come, gritting his teeth so that he has time to muster the courage to speak. "You're a dick, dude. For leaving. That's a dick thing to do to your family." He hates how much it sounds like I miss you. "And my life is complete ass right now, for the record," a pause as he takes in the truth of it, "I have... no idea what I'm doing. I'm- I'm grasping at straws." He pushes his hair from his face, now more annoyed because it's grown out because he only ever let's Max cut it. He shoves one of the coffees over to her. "So, congrats, I guess. You win. I'm sorry if I made y-" he stops himself, "No, that's not a real apology. I'll try again: I'm sorry for checking out. It just- It was easier? But you're right. I'm... I'm different, Max, and I-" He doesn't even know who he is. "I'm losing my shit, here. And I could really use my sister." |