bay {capitol} fin. rewrite
Aug 11, 2019 7:13:11 GMT -5
Post by D6f Carmen Cantelou [aza] on Aug 11, 2019 7:13:11 GMT -5
New Message
TO: clebritney@realitol.mgmt
CC: ________________________
SUBJECT: TRANSCRIPT OF BAY INTERVIEW
attached files: transcript.doc
Hi C,
Thank you for allowing us to get in touch with Bay for her long awaited interview. I just finished typing up the transcript of said interview but wanted to run it by you before we send it to media outlets as some of this needs censorship. I've made a line where I think some work needs to be done. Please find attached the related document. Message back with an edited version and we will get this sorted immediately.
Have a good week,
Ranch
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Life can be weird. I've learnt that life is pretty hard when you're up one moment and down the next; certainly a rollercoaster, but like every rollercoaster, nobody wants to get off. Some people think that everything happens for a reason. I mean, sure, if you're the spiritual type and believe in something in the clouds, but—for me—I don't know. It feels like everything that has happened to me has happened just because. Oh, you got on a TV show, why did you want to do that? I don't know man, just because. Why did you get a new nose even though your old one was fine? Just because.
The past few years of my life have definitely been full of those just because moments. I don't hate them, but I don't love them either. It's just my hedonistic side coming out to play; eyes like a tiger on any and every opportunity, mind running far too quick to decline anything because there's always a possibility. Possibility is everything to a girl like me—you know, I started out with nothing other than a computer in a one bedroom studio apartment. I had to say yes because I'd so often been told no.
It's pretty easy to look back and be proud of the things I've done. I won a television show. I got to go on a date with one of the most famous women in the world. I had thousands and thousands of people talking about me. It's cool to think of it like that, but I can't reflect without being in the present, and I'll be damned if this isn't a whole other world.
They brand me a forgotten fad from a few years ago. I'd know, because in my free time, I search up my own name and read the scathing comments from middle-aged women who feel the need to criticise my recent 'leggy display' at a public event. Things were a lot easier when nobody was able to put a face to the name—Bay was just a writer for a gossip magazine and that was that. Nobody wanted to know anymore because nobody cared, and honestly, I can't blame them. It's not like I was a very interesting person back then. I was basically a middle-aged woman writing scathing comments for cash instead of doing it pointlessly.
I miss when my words were my own. Writing about other people was like escapism for me, from I don't even know what. The mystery was nice, and sure, I guess you could say that being catapulted into the Capitol's spotlight is a pretty alienating experience. You don't know what you have until it is gone—privacy.
I still look back fondly though, because it's pretty spectacular to be a millionaire at just eighteen. But I guess that's the first place I went wrong: doing it all so early. It isn't until you grow up a little bit that you realise your teenage self doesn't know everything. And back then—it was a case of having more money than sense. I used to believe that money could buy a person happiness because you don't have to say to the things you want; you can get the dress, you can get the shoes, you can get the surgery—but what happens after that? I don't think money has made me happy, if anything, it's made me realise how lonely it is at the top.
Money is ultimately a coping mechanism. A stress reliever, and that's dangerous when you're a girl like me. Fashionable. Fast-thinking. Impressionable. Impulsive. I'd sell quick stories for cash, not caring who would be affected. I'd even sell stories about myself just so that I'd stay in the public eye for a moment more, hoping that some offers would come in and it would be my rebirth. I didn't realise that speaking my mind would be the thing that would put a nail in my coffin because it's silly, thinking about it—I'm a nobody in the grand scheme of things... just a girl who happened to send the right application at the right time.
Having a lot of money is especially dangerous when it comes to dealing with other people. I can't help but feel people only want to know me to try and get a slice of my pie. It's not being famous that is the cause of the stress, it's because I'm famous. You go from doing everything yourself to people treating you so differently that you can't even remember what life was like before. I can't help but feel like it's because they know I'm bad with the money I have; there's stacks burning a hole in my pocket and people just want to collect the ashes and piece it back together for themselves.
It got to the point where I had to invest in hiring a financial advisor because I got so close to losing it all and the thought of that frightened me. It wasn't just the thought of having to wear a collection from a few years ago, it was the idea I could've had it all but let myself get the better of me. The few famous friends I had left were telling me, they were texting me to go and get a manager so that everything could be sorted but I didn't like the idea. It felt like giving up, in a way, because I'd taken myself to the top from nothing once. Giving someone else that challenge felt like handing over control.
I guess I was right. It's almost like I've signed away the authority I have over myself in favour of keeping my head above the water. I'm not a person anymore, I'm a business. I'm ferried off to show after show, public appearance after public appearance just to keep the cash coming in. There's no concern for me, aside from how I look. They were actually the ones who told me to get the second nose job because one of the CEOs wanted to use it as a promotion opportunity for their son's clinic. I hate how it looks, but if I told them that, they'd cut me off before I could say rhinoplasty.
That whole nose job fiasco is the reason so much attention was drawn to that site last year—The Changing Face of Bay—you know the one. The one that was in the top ten most viewed sites, yeah, well, that was actually set up by my management team so they could capitalise on the revenue from the ads run on that page. I literally got paid to have fillers, do you know how weird that is? I swear they are going to turn me into a recyclable plastic before too long. That was all for that one CEO's son's clinic, too. Analysts told me that he got more bookings than ever after I did that 'campaign'. It's funny, because I don't remember ever agreeing to do a campaign.
Some of the money made trickles down through the executives and board members to me, and it's nice to be able to afford the flashy things again, it's nice, sure, but man it feels like everything I've gotten doesn't really belong to me. I'm not my own success story anymore, I'm someone else's—and I hate that, I really do.
There's nothing deep about a relationship between a manager and their client. They don't care about how I feel or what I want to do—everything relates back to finance. It's probably for the best, you know, after everything that happened when I was in charge of what I wanted to do... but come on. I've been asked to release a song about being on the Bachelorette that was written by a ghostwriter. I read it and it's horrible, it's not my words and it's not how I feel about the experience in hindsight. I don't know if it'll get released. There is a sample they are trying to get cleared at the moment that I can only pray doesn't work out because I don't want to attach my face and name to something that is a mile from the truth.
It's kind of sad how this industry takes advantage of the people who are the reason said industry exists. We enter the spotlight when we're young and nobody ever tells you what happens when the cameras shut off—it's like you're just expected to understand and know what to do. It's not the case, well, it wasn't the case for me, anyway. And then all of a sudden, there's these people telling you what's best for you and you are too young and dumb to question their intentions. Signing with them has only made me feel more stressed because they've taken my voice. Everything is curated now because apparently another Flickerman feud would be suicide for my career.
I wanted to do this interview to speak out. People have seen me at the top, at the bottom, now at the top again... and sure, I have my management to thank. But there's a heavy price to pay for being one of the biggest stars at the moment, and it's one that makes my heart hurt. It's sad how being honest in the past put me in the place where I was at the bottom of every pecking order, but now that I'm keeping my mouth shut, smiling and waving like I'm told, I'm shining again. People don't like hearing opinions that are different to theirs, especially people who are in the spotlight too, with their egos the size of a skyscraper.
I guess there's an unspoken sensitivity when it comes to discussing the Hunger Games. I used to be like that too, so I know I'm not any better, but we can't just sweep the fact we're funding the murder of twenty-three kids and the psychological death of another every year... it's not human. I was cancelled before for sympathising with victors and I still don't get why. Being on the Bachelorette and having to deal with Katelyn's disappearance made me realise that there's a whole aspect of the world I'll never get to experience. I'll never have to sit through a reaping, never have to come to expect the worst, I'll never be able to understand someone who has such specific, opposite struggles and I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful because there's a harsh world out there for anyone, let alone a kid.
People don't like to hear it from someone like me. I get it, you tune in to me because you want an update on what brand I'm wearing or what guy or girl I'm dating—that's cool—but I want people to know I'm more than someone on a screen. Maybe this interview will never see the light of day because my honesty is not part of said company's policy, but talking about this in this way is a freeing experience. Besides, if this leaks, I'm all good. I've invested in the drugs industry and there's a ton of cash waiting for me if someone ever tries to pulls the plug again.
I'm sorry this interview turned into a... some sort of sob story turned angsty open letter. I'm not complaining about how lucky I am, I just want people to know that being cancelled once doesn't mean it's over for someone, and that it doesn't mean I'm going to stop sticking two fingers up when I can. I've learnt a lot in the past two years: how to handle money, sure, but also about who I am as a person. About boundaries, authority, emotion and relation.
Fame kills, and though the old me is gone, I'm not dead. Not yet, anyway... but if the wrong person reads this interview? Make sure I look good for my funeral.
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