left in p i e c e s >> eagle
Oct 22, 2013 14:26:23 GMT -5
Post by semper on Oct 22, 2013 14:26:23 GMT -5
I don’t hear anything so I figure perhaps he’s not here. The old house is rather eerie when it’s quiet, but then again I’m so used to there being seven people inside of it and no moments of peace. There used to be people running this way and that, shouting in nearly every room, and in the living room during the colder months there’d be a small fire going and a few of us huddled around it every now and then. It’s those days that I miss. Having wealth is nice, yes, but at the end of the day I’d much rather drag my tired self back to this awful stack of wood planks than the elegantly built mansion. Maybe that’s why I chose to stay at Tiberius’ house instead of the mansion: it’s much smaller and more homely. No matter where I am in the little house I can holler out and he’ll hear me. (I’d also never take him to the mansion because I know what awaits him there: chaos and screaming and verbal abuse, sometimes even physical abusefrom Jamar.) A small smile starts to draw across my face as I open the door to the old house, but it quickly fizzles down as soon as I see Dad’s weathered face appear in the doorway, halting the progress of the door.
His words are much colder than the wind that nipped me on the way here. He’s always been a grouch so it’s no surprise he responds in this way. I emit a tired sigh, smile drawing down to a flat line. Frankly I don’t want to spend much time here – he’s probably got the same depressive lull that I am just recovering from so I don’t need that dark atmosphere following me and striking when I least expect it. I look at him, halfway expecting him to move so I can come in but he doesn’t. That’s fine. Last time I came here he pushed me away as fast as he could. I don’t know what’s gotten into him, but whatever it is it isn’t good. When I look at him I see that glow in his eyes, the same shine that Tiberius was glad to see go away from my own green eyes. He’s never been the same ever since Mom died – actually, no, I don’t know that. I was hardly two years old when she died but he never talks about her whenever anyone asks, so that’s why I assume it’s because of her. But what about us? Lyana, Tacara, Marina, Jamar, Klaus, me – he completely tuned us out, wrapping himself in this fabricated world of self-hatred and despair. I was the one left picking up the slack, slaving away in a steel factory, raking in so many hours for such a shitty pay that hardly kept us fed every few days.
I should be mad. I shouldn’t be here to even check up on him. But I am, so what does that mean?
I still do care about him. He’s my father after all, and family’s all I have got left. I’m not going to leave him just because of some stupid grudge. Hell, I looked after him during all those years, too, so why should it just stop because Klaus brought home a huge wealth?
My smile has since faded but my words don’t sound as frozen as his. ”Sorry, I just came to see how you were doing and if you needed anything.” He looks far more grizzled than he did a month or so ago and it worries me. I don’t want him to waste away to nothing – I know what it’s like to starve, I know what it’s like to treasure a small cup of ice cream as if it’s God-sent. I don’t want my own dad to be stuck in that trench while the rest of us are rising up, eating heartily every day (I’m one to talk – I’ve become a little bit round on the edges) and not worrying about anything. ”Also, I know you more than likely won’t come, and that’s alright – honestly, I’m not expecting you to – but I wanted to tell you that I’m engaged to be married. So consider this your invitation on the off chance you ever decide to leave this house for a little bit.”i caught you burning photographs
like that could save you from your past
history is like gravity
it holds you down away from me
you and me we’ve both got our sins
i don’t care about where you’ve been
don’t be sad and don’t explain
this is where we start again
Graphic credit to Cass <3