when the high subsides { cor day 5 }

I don't think I will ever forget the sound of his body hitting the ground. Or the finial gasp that escaped blood soaked lips. Nor the way the light dies from his eyes. No. That would be burned onto the back of my memories for a lifetime. There was something unnatural about it, like you could physically see the moment that his heart had given its last beat, because suddenly his eyes go blank, any essence of his being terminated and I am left staring at the corpse.

And with his death I feel a tidal way of emotions. First I feel euphoric, the corruption that plagues my body gives an audible moan, and I feel the corner of my lips pull back into a grin. Doesn't it feel amazing. His blood on your blade, his death in your hands. I lick my lips, nodding along, trapped in a trance, overwhelmed by their excitement, their lust finally satiated.

But as their voices fade, as the high from the kill comes crashing down, the bloodlust easing until it's all but gone, I am left to face the reality of what I have done. "Oh my god," I say on a breath, kneeling down beside the body. "Oh my god," shit. My fingers reach for his neck, feeling for a pulse a moment before the loud boom of a canon. Shit, shit, shit, shit. He was dead. "Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, no doubt, no doubt, no doubt." For a moment I kneel there, lost. Trying to remember, to figure out, what exactly it is that I was supposed to do next.

What was the protocol for the actions after killing someone?

Carefully I close his eyes, finding a little easier to focus without his lifeless eyes staring accusingly at me. Additionally, it made easier for me to snacth up his pack and spill the contents next to us, sorting through the bits and pieces he had collected over the last few days. I still wasn't quite sure who he was, though I had the uneasy feeling that he might have been the boy from 10, the one that Cachi was smitten with.

"Damnit," I groan, running a blood stained had through my hair as I studied the body once again. I had just killed Cachi's last connection to his home. "You just became a problem," I sigh, as I start to shove his belongings into my pack.

I couldn't tell him. Cachi didn't need to know- right?

Though I suppose it wouldn't matter if Cachi was already dead. The arena had been alive with the booming of canons this day.