Cut to the Feeling [Cachi/Derecho Day 7]

Just a few more remain.

Just a couple more days.

Then I'll be home. I'll see my family again. I'll see where I belong.

All of it rings true, yet home is so far away. Knowing the numbers are dwindling down, knowing that very few tributes remain, all of it brings Derecho to his knees praying to a god above for guidance and strength to carry on when all he wants is to find a way to get rid of this terrible crown. This crown is the bane of his existence. It's tormenting him, bringing him down lower than he ever imagined possible, and yet he still tries to find a way to survive, a way to keep going despite everything.

Even when the visions and nightmares haunt his dreams during the night hours, Derecho finds the strength to look forward to something. Right now, even the idea of a future at home is barely keeping him going. It's barely giving him enough strength to keep going.

But I never surrender.

As the sun sets, he prepares himself for the horrible sights to come, but it doesn't help him at all because as soon as everything happens, it's like his brain tries shutting down and forgetting how to function. All he can see and hear are the screams of people he cares for dying over and over, and this time it shows himself laying on the ground covered in blood, and not a single person remembers who he is.

It's one of his worse fears because all he's wanted since volunteering is building a legacy for himself, and maybe nobody cares about him. Maybe nobody even knows his name - what if I did this for nothing? Of course, the answer will never come in death. The only way to know for sure that people remember him is to live, to make it out of this mess alive, but it seems so far away and impossible.

But I'm so close.

Making it this far won't matter if he's just a person shy of surviving.

A heavy sigh leaves his chest as he curls up trying to find a dry place to rest, a place to relax, a place to let the visions drown out the night as they've done every single day since placing the crown upon his head.

It's proof that I am worthy of the crown at the end.

Maybe sleep isn't a good thing, though, because all it takes is one moment of closing his eyes for a loud crack of thunder to rip through the sky to bring him to his feet, and soon he's moving trying to navigate through the darkness without alerting anyone else to his presence. Silence is needed, it'll give him a chance to survive, a chance to make it out of this mess alive if he's lucky and strong enough to succeed.

Vibrant flashes of lightning light up the sky, and for the first time Derecho sees the purple rain drops saturating everything.

I know what I'm capable of, and I will do as I can to survive.

It motivates him, gives him the strength, yet it also gives him the desire to spill blood, to turn the grass a crimson red.

Even hearing the sound of the rushing waters from the winding river can't bring him back to the reality he desires. Instead, it turns him around, and he's looking in every direction wondering which way to go. While the sun starts rising for the day, Derecho keeps looking and searching for anyone standing in his way. People have to die -

And it's not going to be me.

That's when he sees him, and he hears him talking, and in that moment, Derecho doesn't even care what the tribute is saying. None of it means nothing. He's a stranger, he's the enemy, and Derecho will do whatever he can to make sure that his face is the last face this stranger will see.

But thinking about it all makes him realize he's too slow.

The sleep deprivation is holding him back, it's making it impossible to think, impossible to react, and maybe that's why he feels the blade slice deep into his skin. Blood gushes from his mangled arm, and in that moment, Derecho knows this isn't just a walk in the park anymore.

"You talk too much." He says calmly as he lifts his trusty hammer and holds it close to his chest. "We have no time for formalities when we both know how this has to end."

Shaking his head, Derecho draws in a deep breath allowing himself to focus again. Fear will only bring him down, and it's his hope to release it all with a soft exhale before striking knowing what he needs to do.

He smiles as a bone crunches under the weight of his trusty hammer. It's a sound Derecho wants to hear all the time, one he desires, and one that's music to his ears.

But listening to the enemy talk makes him wish that he would've swung higher and harder. Some people never learn to shut up, and maybe that's where Derecho will succeed. Being quiet and letting the enemy talk himself to death. Yeah, that's the plan.

One thing is true, though, this guy knows how to get under someone's skin because every word is something that is meaningful, yet at the same time meaningless. Derecho simply shakes his head and readies himself, readies the hammer, readies his entire being for the pain that has to happen in order for him to find success and make it to the next stage of the game.

Formalities mean nothing. Being informal means nothing. Not in a place like this, and it's beyond his imagination why anyone would want to make friends at this stage of the game. Talking will do nothing except draw them closer together, and maybe even distract Derecho from the ultimate plan of winning and taking home the grand prize. Seeing his name in lights as people chant honors and praises to him. That's the goal.

Yet standing here watching someone from district ten swing a blade with success means that he has to be more careful. A lot of times it's the lower district tributes that can find the upper hand against cocky careers, and while Derecho is a career and he's cocky, he knows that letting that stand in the way will only end in his defeat.

Maybe that's why the blade slices into his skin again, but this time, he's ready for it, and he can't control the laughter that escapes his lips. It's just a tickle in the midst of the rain as blood gushes from the brand-new laceration.

It means nothing though.

I can't be cocky. I can't let him get to me.

Taking a deep breath, Derecho calms himself, and he listens to the rushing water, the thunder, and the rain, and it brings him a sense of calm. It reminds him of home. It's his strength.

I know what I'm capable of, but I don't know if anyone else does.

Each breath brings him to life, and in the moment, Derecho knows he's strong, that he's brave, but sometimes bravery doesn't do anything except destroy those who care.

I cared, but I don't anymore.

Making a legacy for himself is important but surviving and making it home is more important because living to see the spotlight is where the legacy begins. Dying in here would make his legacy unknown, and he wants to live to see it.

Turning back towards his opponent, Derecho lifts the hammer into the air. It's gotten him this far, and he puts all his trust into it. This weapon hasn't failed him yet, and it's his hope that it doesn't fail him now.

Without a word, he springs into action unafraid because he refuses to let fear of dying hold him back.

I know what I'm capable of, and it's time the world knows too.

Nothing about this place is funny. No, it's simply hearing the sounds of bones breaking, of feeling the weapon cut into another person that brings a smile across his face because this is what he trained for. Maybe those who haven't trained will never grasp just how funny this is. It isn't about joking, no, but the idea of having something to laugh about, even at the sake of another person, gives Derecho a reason to keep going on despite his body begging him for a break.

But even being silent doesn't stop his opponent from talking.

He keeps going on and on, and Derecho wants nothing more than to tell him to stop talking, yet he knows that won't get him anywhere because he's already tried. So, instead, he simply ignores whatever Cachi is saying and focuses on fighting since that's what'll bring the honor and glory home to him and his family.

Maybe finding humor in this is a bad thing.

He never even considered it. Not once. All his life has been spent training for this moment that even grasping the concept of killing another goes above his wildest dreams, but it's the only way.

Laughter eases the pain, but some will never understand.

It helps him cope in the worst of situations. It takes away the pain for only a moment, but for the moment, laughter reminds him of the desire he has, of winning this game, and that means laughing when others suffer because they have to.

I have to. I've suffered long enough, and now it must go on.

Volunteering for this meant coming into a game where he had to suffer. It means that he has other option except to watch people die, to see them cry out in pain, and none of it matters because of none of them affects him. And now the only thing to do is finish what he's started. Without knowing how many days are left in this, if the gamemakers want to end this soon, or if they want to draw it out even longer, but the end is coming, and Derecho is prepared. The only thing standing in his way is this tribute that talks too much.

A heavy sigh leaves his chest, and in that moment the only thing on his mind is winning no matter what it takes.

I'll never apologize for surviving. I'll never apologize for laughing because this is me, and for the first time in my life, I am proud of who I am.

A large grin spreads across his face as another burst of laughter leaves his lips. If that's what it takes to distract the enemy, then that is what he'll resort to as long as Derecho doesn't distract himself in the process. Focusing is important but keeping his strength alive is even more important.

Fear doesn't belong here.

It never has, and it never will.

He faces Cachi and hoists his hammer into the air. It's helped him many times, and right now he needs it more than ever.

Just let go and believe.

Another crunch of a bone snapping beneath the weight of his trusty hammer, and for the first time Derecho realizes surviving may actually become a reality, but of course, he knows not to get too confident and cocky because that's when someone loses. He's seen it many times before, and he doesn't want that to become him.

"Thanks for the laughs."

It's strange that someone is thanking him for laughing at his pain, yet Derecho doesn't change his facial expression even as Cachi grins. If a show is what he's asking for, a show is what he'll get. But it all seems near impossible to please everyone. Hopefully those back home are enjoying the action presented before them. Hopefully those who counted him out realize that he' stronger than he's ever been given credit for.

So many times in life people have counted him out, they've said he wouldn't amount to anything, that he's wasting his time training.

How wrong they are.

And now he has this chance to show them, to prove that he's more than capable of schooling every single one of them in any hand-to-hand battle.

But I must stay calm.

Keeping a calm cool head is important and making sure he's always prepared for the next move. Sometimes all it takes is learning how his opponent moves before figuring out what exactly is needed. Most of the time walking into the unknown is a bad thing, and all it takes is looking at his mangled arm to realize that he's made a mistake that could cost him gravely.

Part of him wants to speak, to break the silence he provided himself, and now he doesn't have the chance to since it seems to be working. It seems to have knocked his opponent off his game, and that's exactly what Derecho needs. And now, now's his chance. A chance to give himself the upper leg that's needed despite the fear of death holding him back.

Volunteering for this was a mistake, and the only way to fix it is to win.

A black crown lays upon his head, but Derecho wants to replace it with the crown at the end of the game. A golden crown purified of all wrong doings, one that's stronger and heavier than the weight of this one. Being strong enough to hold the weight is important. It's nearly broken him, but now Derecho grows stronger with every passing breath. Not to mention the roaring of the river and the rain bring him the peace that's needed.

Nothing can stop me. For I am stronger than I ever imagined.

Raising the trusty hammer into the air, he takes a steady breath. Right now, the best thing he can do is make sure he trusts his gut and follows his training because it's all he has, and that is the only thing that can keep him alive.

The weight of the crown holds him down, tethers him to this earth, but the want to live, the desire to crawl to the top keeps him going even though his body is begging him to stop.

Spots flash before his eyes, and he's tired, but Derecho can tell that Cachi is close to the edge, yet he knows not to doubt him before it's completely over. So many times people have thought they were ahead, and then their opponent struck back right on the brink of death. Everyone is alive until their cannon sounds.

He's covered with blood, and he doesn't even know if it belongs to him or Cachi, but in this moment, it doesn't matter because it means he still has a chance to live, a chance to survive, a chance to make it out of this madness alive.

I'm so close, yet so far away.

It's terrifying and thrilling at the same time. It's something to keep him going. Something that gives him the courage and motivation to fight through whatever is pressed before him.

A frantic heart is clawing for an escape, and he tries calming himself down as the blade slices across his skin again, but it doesn't hurt anymore. His entire body is numb except the throbbing of a mangled arm. Nothing matters anymore, and all he cares about is living. Part of him wants to apologize for being an asshole, but deep down, Derecho doesn't care what he says to anyone here since everyone knows only one will make it out of this mess alive.

That person is going to be me.

Each breath feels like an eternity, but his eyes focus on the hammer, and at the same time, they focus on Cachi knowing that each movement is important. One wrong movement can end it all. One wrong movement is all it takes for this entire thing to come crashing down.

I'm almost there.

Reminding himself that this is almost over keeps him going, but most importantly, he fights for his friends, to keep their memory alive once this horrible game has come to an end. Kaius and Quinn taught him it's okay to have friendships even in the darkest of places. It doesn't matter where one comes from, but where the person is going, and that's the reason he's pushing through.

I fight for them as well as myself.

But most importantly, Derecho fights for his family because he wants his name to be known beyond the realm of the games. He wants people to see him for what he truly is and see exactly what he's capable of doing.

Listening to the rain and the rushing water, he steadies himself and lifts the hammer again. This is coming to an end no matter what happens. He just prays that the winner is him.