You left in Autumn...{Complete}

~Naida~


Naida listened carefully to Dillon, letting her mind go over each word and process its meaning. He thought he was crazy because Alba had told him where to find her... Well in Naida's world nothing about that seemed strange. After all Raiden talked to her all the time, and lead her through the hard times when she was lost and afraid. And she could feel Alba in the wind, so it made perfect sense for Alba to be communicating with Dillon. Remembering the food she'd brought, Naida unscrewed her thermos full of warm cinder and filled the cap up, offering it to Dillon.

"Doesn't sound crazy to me, but then again, I'm the queen of crazy... It just sounds to me like Alba is trying to communicate with you and let you know she's ok. Kind of like Raiden when I first started to hear him. He'd told me he was safe now, and we would see each other again someday."

The sound of the ocean lapping against the beach below the secluded ledge was a lullaby to Naida. A throw back to the evenings she would spend wrapped up in a blanket with Raiden watching the ships sail in for the night. Then they would return home and have dinner with the rest of the family. Those were nights she wished she had held onto closer, but how could she have known Raiden would be dead less than a month from the last time they had sat out there together. If she had known, she would have never let go of him. But it was too late now. Now it was a matter of finding the courage to let go. To let Raiden and Alba be free of the guilt of her insanity once and for all. Of course she'd still talk to Raiden and listen for Alba, but she would no longer drag them down with guilt and sorrow.

"Does she ever talk to you?"

Naida shook her head, "No, not the way Raiden does. But I feel her. She's everywhere, especially in the wind. Not a day goes by that I don't have at least one moment where I feel she's still here with me..."

"You've grown so much since I left kiddo. It makes me proud..."

"A lot of it is thanks to everything you taught me when I was younger. I want to stop being the 'crazy' girl in town. I want to be the big sister Raviv and Ilayda deserve."

A soft chuckle came followed by Raiden's silken voice, "You already are a wonderful big sister kiddo, don't ever doubt that. When you love someone you've got to let them go, and that's what you're working on. But no matter what, I won't leave you alone."

Naida laughed, which must have seemed odd to Dillon, but she didn't care, "Thank you, you're the greatest oh brother of mine."



Start flashback....

Naida trotted through the chilly August ocean water holding little Ilayda's hand leading the eager child into the pride of District Four, the ocean. Her other held tight to Raiden, who had Raviv on the side.

The parents of the four strong children watched happily from the safety of the sandy beach. Their beautiful kids ages fourteen, ten, seven, and four, all playing together like any good family should. Everything was perfect.

Raiden dove under the water and the three younger kids watched in awe at how long he'd been under. Until bubbles began to break the surface, and Raiden emerged with a milky white pearl in his hand. "See kiddos, a pearl. Can you believe that ugly calms grow these beautiful things?" Naida nodded, having remember her mother telling her this once before, but Raviv and Ilayda gasped and clung to Raiden trying to get a better look at the tiny sphere. When Ilayda's tiny voice could be heard. "Itsa berry pwetty!"

"Just like you and your sissy!" Raiden laughed. "And of course Raviv and myself aren't too bad looking either."

~~~

After the long romp at the beach, the two younger children laid fast asleep in their beds. But Raiden and Naida were still awake and sat by the fire in their cozy family room.

Naida rested her head against Raiden's should, sleep slowly starting to overtake her. "I'm scared"

"About what kiddo?" He tightened his grip on the older of his two younger sisters.

Naida had a single tear crawling down her cheek, "I don't want you to leave me."

"Oh course I'm not going to leave you. What brought this on?" Raiden frown at his sister's concern.

"I had a nightmare that you left me all alone. You got on a dark train and I never saw you again..." The tears now followed freely from her eyes.

Raiden carefully wiped all Naida's tears away. "I've already told you that I'm never going to leave you Kiddo. I'm always going to be there for you, no matter what."

"Really?" Naida asked incredulously.

Raiden smiled and kissed Naida on the forehead. "Of course, you know I always keep my promises."

And that was all it took to reassure little Naida, when she fell asleep in Raidens arms, a small smile on her face.


End of flashback...



Naida snapped from her bittersweet memories when the wind picked up. A smile similar to one the one years ago formed on Naida's lips. She was so fortunate to have such lovely guardian angels looking out for her and the little ones. Oh and there was no doubt Raiden also was keeping an eye on their mom and dad. Then their was Alba, who had a far gentler approach, but she was definitely still there, everyday, in simple beauty such as the wind that whispered it's way through the crisp fall leaves.

Then another thought dawned on Naida, she had promised Raviv and Ilayda she'd take them to their special beach today. But she didn't want to leave Dillon just yet, she felt strangely connected to him through common lose of a loved one, and an understanding of each other. Maybe Dillon would want to come with them? Even if he and Raviv didn't get off to a great start, the little ones were really sweet at heart, and had just been protecting their helpless sister...

"I promised Ilayda and Raviv I' would take them to the same beach today. The same one that Raiden took the three of us when we were younger, it's kind of got a special meaning to us now.... Do you want to come? I mean I know Raviv snapped at you before, but he was only protecting me because I wasn't capable of protecting myself..."

~Nadia~


Nadia took a small sip of cinder, letting the warm liquid trickle down her burning throat. October had brought in cold, dry air, and the changing of the colors in the trees. And the Games raged on. Nadia had been pleasantly surprised to be informed by Raviv that Tekeba was still alive, without an alliance, but alive. It probably was better that way, the other girls in the alliance were careers, and the boy was a huge target being from District Twelve. They were nothing but a big risk to her. Nadia couldn't hide the truth from herself though, Takeba would die. All of them would die, all but one. It was only day four, anything could happen still. Her brother had made it to the final day, and he was still gone. It was so ironic thinking back on her nightmares. Raiden had gotten on a train and never came back alive. More than ironic really, prophetic. But he was ok now, that's what kept her going. Raiden is ok, and so is Alba. But apparently Dillon was so sure...

"what if she's not okay. What if that's why she can't speak to me. Maybe she's not...she's not..."

A soft sigh escaped Nadia as Dillon began to cry, before rambling about everything he missed about his cousin. It almost brought her to tears, but she refused to give up her new found sanity, no matter how temporary it may be. Dillon was a lot quieter about express his grief, that was for sure. She had screamed, sobbed, and thrashed about, making a huge scene every time it happened. At the Fifty-first Reaping she had been so distressed that peacekeepers had had to rip her from her brother, and drag her away from the stage, and she had been kicking and fighting them the whole way. But somehow when you're a tiny eleven year old girl who's brother was reaped, they find an once of kindness and don't arrest you for assault of a peacekeeper.

"She's ok Dillon. I know she is, I can feel it... And I trust Raiden, if anything happened to her, he would have told me. Raiden and I talk about everything, we always have and always will. He was never one to hide anything from me, that's just how it is. And everyone communicates differently."

"You put an awful lot of faith in me, I don't know if I can handle the pressure." Raiden laughed.

Nadia snickered, "Of course you can, you've been doing it for years now, so don't give me that crap!"

"I guess you're right, but you and the little ones are quite a handful sometimes. Make sure to tell them I love them, and miss them. Crazy little kiddos..."

"Of course I will, even though they already know."

Nadia wasn't sure why she had to readily invited Dillon to join her and her siblings on a trip to their special beach. It had a sacred feeling to Nadia, it was a place that Raiden had taken them to have fun or talk about serious matters for hours, it was the place that they were completely themselves, without worrying about anyone or anything else. And somehow that made her want to share it with Dillon, maybe it would bring him peace of mind the way it did hers. Then there was the little ones to think about... Their only memories of Dillon were him making her cry in the District Square, and being the protective siblings they are, that meant they weren't particularly found of Dillon. Raviv was very gentle in nature and would probably warm up rather quickly once Dillon proved he wasn't hurting Nadia, Ilayda might be a bit harder... The eight year old was a wild thing, and stubborn as a mule in the dead heat of summer. But she was still eight, therefore very easily influenced by her older brother and sister. They could make this work, it would just be a little bit of a challenge.

"Alright. Sure. I don't want to be a third-wheel type thing though. This is your special thing, isn't it?"

"It will be ok. Raviv and Ilayda really aren't bad kids, they'll like you just fine once they get to know you a little better. It's my fault they're so defensive.... They've had to step up and fill in for Raiden and myself. It's not fair what I put them through."

A small tear streaked down Naida's face. She would have to make it up to them somehow. Taking them to the beach was a start though. She wanted to show them that she loved them and was still their loving older sister, not just a shell of a person the Capitol ruined. Raiden had met his end on earth at their hands, but he still wasn't defeated. He still lives in every sense but body, he still was with them in his own way. Alba would not be forgotten either. Her gentle presences in every passing breeze. Slowly Nadia was able to allow herself to heal, and let go of the grief, replacing it with found memories. Her fingers brushed against the rough edges of the old spear tip that hung around her neck. She had inherited her brother's token, it served as a constant tribute to him. Anyone who saw her on the street would think of him when they saw her, and his untimely end when they saw the token that he'd taken with him to he games. And every reaping she wore a white rose, for Alba and Raiden. Raviv and Ilayda already had told her if either of them got reaped, they wanted to wear Raiden's necklace as their token. The thought of losing any more of her siblings was to much for Nadia to bear. But the odds of two kids from the same family getting reaped were extremely slim, but as long as it could happen, she wouldn't be able to have complete peace of mind.

"Whenever you're ready, we have to go get Raviv and Ilayda from my house then head to the beach." Nadia blushed slightly, since when did she take people to her house? No one ever came to their house, not after everything that had happened.

~Naida~


"My sister told me once that when you lose someone you love, sometimes you think you can still hear them talking to you, even if they're not there. I think that's what's happened to you."


Naida spewed her drink onto the grass as she jerked back violently away from Dillon. He did think she was crazy, he said he'd thought she was just hurting, but now it was obvious he too had begun to see her as the crazy girl. It felt as if he had dumped a bucket of icy water over her. What did he know? What did his sister know? Nothing. Lies, it was lies, he just didn't know any better. He didn't know what she heard, what went on in her head. No where did he have the right to interpret what her Raiden could or couldn't do. She kept her strange but comforting secret mostly to herself, shared only with her family and Dillon. Her family said a piece of Raiden was still with all of them, and perhaps it was his last gift to her. Dillon she thought would understand, but he wasn't one of her siblings, and he didn't understand it.


The insanity was quickly regaining its grip on her now, the fragile peace she had worked to maintain was shattered in that moment. Nothing Dillon did or said could take that back now. He'd snapped her just like that. Why had she been so stupid as to trust him, she should have gone straight home with Raviv and Ilayda that day at the reaping. They would protect her, as much as she wished that they didn't have to. Shivers wracked her body, the tears began to flow freely down her face. Slowly choked sobs started to come from her. Even worse is Dillon saw her at that reaping, and at his cousin's grave, he should know how badly she reacts to certain things and he still said what he did. This was going to set her back in her recovery, just the thing she had been trying to avoid. It was like dropping a glass, and the pieces spraying every which way. It would take a long time to find and put the pieces back together, but some would always be missing.


Naida's hoarse voice was filled with venom,


"...What do you know! You don't know what goes on in my head. You have no idea what me and my family have been through besides Raiden's death. So I'm crazy and you're finally realizing it huh?"


She felt no remorse for her harsh words at this point. Dillon had been asking to be lashed out at with what he said. The feisty girl Naida had once been still contributed to her heated desire to protect herself and her loved ones. A hollow laugh made its way out in between sobs.


"I though you were different from everyone else. But you're not, you're just like the whole rotten lot of them! Go ahead call me crazy, stop trying to put it nicely and say it! It is what you're thinking isn't it?"


Naida doubled over in a fit of sobs. Her brother was still with her, she knew he was. He had to be. Because without him she wouldn't still be here. Raiden's efforts combined with the concern of her family had been just enough to keep her from doing something stupid. The flame on candle that was set upon Raiden's grave flickered once before increasing in size as if it were Raiden's way of showing he was still here, he lived through those who knew and loved him. Look at Raviv, the spitting image of Raiden in more than just looks. Raiden was a little more out going but they shared their level-handedness and need to protect their family. Then there was Ilayda, so vibrant and radiating life everywhere she went. Naida had shared many traits with her brother but many where masked now behind her walls of pain and insanity. Naida's sobs were interchanging with gasping breaths. Her mind replying the swords that killed Raiden and Alba. The crimson spray that came from each, and then their last words. It was to much for Naida to take, arms wrapped around herself she screamed in terror of the images in her head.


"But hell. You go ahead and talk to him if it makes you feel better. If he's as every bit as supportive as you make him out to be, you're one of the luckiest people I've ever met. I wish my sister and I were that close."


"It does make me feel better, but what else would you expect from the crazy girl. You and your sister are unfortunate in that respect then... And maybe Alba can't talk to you because you're not listening."



"Easy little one, he didn't mean to hurt you like this. Shh, I know kiddo life isn't always easy, but it's killing me to see you like this...

"Raiden... I don't think I can do this, I come unglued so easily. Maybe I'll never get better."

"Slowly but surely Naida, I see improvement. You will get their, but these things take time, ok kid? Just hang in there."

"I'll do my best, I promise."

"And that's all I ask little one."



Naida's breathing and sobs began to slow a bit, but tremors still shook her body. Raiden was still here, not in body but in spirit. Dillon was wrong, her brother could talk to her still, just in a different way now. Ilayda and Raviv often had dreams of him still here, they all held a part of him near and dear. Memories that nobody could ever take away from them, not even the Capitol. They could take Raiden's life but not his spirit. They could take her brother away, but they couldn't take Naida's memories. He was always so kind but firm, strong but gentle. The perfect blend in her opinion. Maybe her devotion to her family seemed over the top to some, but to her it was just a way of life. The feeling of being kicked in the gut returned as she looked up at Dillon with eyes redden from the tears the followed down her face.


"Nah, don't worry about it. I'm sure they are good kids. They just love you. A lot. And were just trying to protect you... Well let's go then."


Naida froze on the spot. At least he knew Raviv and Ilayda were good kids. They'd been raised in a loving family with strong values of course they were good kids. They did everything they possibly could to help out. Sometimes they were more like twenty-two and eighteen, instead of twelve and eight. Such good little kids, so much she had to make up to them, all in due time though. Their was no rush. Naida had everything(minus Raiden) to lose to the Capitol but was sick of the fear. If one of them were going to end up as another victim, they might as well make the most of every precious moment. Dillon offered her his hand, which she took and pulled herself up, but refused to look at the boy's face after her outburst.


"Alright then. I'll warn you now, my house isn't much by District Four standards. But it's cozy with the five of us... And I'm sorry that I snapped at you... "