Cutting Wheel | [Semper]

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Spesh
Capitol Resident

1,143 POSTS
last seen Oct 22, 2023 19:21:42 GMT -5

being old af

Cutting Wheel | [Semper] Dec 30, 2012 21:55:49 GMT -5

Post by Spesh on Dec 30, 2012 21:55:49 GMT -5

Main~ebe3aa
Speaking~c5e0dc
Emphasis~a8caba
Other~838689
Other's Speech~5d4157

I'm gonna be released from behind these lines
And I don't care whether I live or die
And I'm losing blood, I'm gonna leave my bones
And I don't want your heart, it leaves me cold

Meryem checks her pockets, no drugs. Even when she is under the effects of her drugs, Meryem can always tell when her pockets are empty, when there are no more pills to take. That's when her hallucinations happen to be strongest. It's almost like Meryem is begging the drugs to give her everything they've got while they last.

Of course, these final hallucinations are almost-always nightmares.

And when Meryem runs out, all hell breaks loose. She gets temperamental, jumpy, and all around angry. That's why she happened to be so hopeful of her next load getting smuggled in, it was why she remembered she happened to be lurking around her pick up spot. It's why she bothered to brave the cold in her ripped and tattered clothing.

All for the drugs. It is all for the drugs. Meryem lives for the drugs, or rather the drugs are her sense of life. They let her live without feeling dead, although she appears to everybody else as dead. She can only hope that they got smuggled in from the Capitol recently, the winter was always a difficult time to get the drugs in. People never wanted to leave home.

But without the drugs, Meryem wasn't not sure she could go on living. Yet all she could do was wait. She did so, back against a building in an off road of the town, money in her pocket that she got from taking things from Celeste.

Then the drugs came and goods were quickly exchanged. Pills to last the winter, they said before the car drove away.

Then Meryem took a pill in addition to the one she already took, but forgot to put the container back into her pocket. Meryem sank to the ground, back still against the wall, and enjoyed the lack of feeling that slowly grew on her.

I don't want no future, I don't need no past
One grand moment is all I ask
I don't want your future, I don't need your past
One grand moment is all I ask

OOC: I'm sorry, I don't even know what this is. It's the first time I've actually written her, so it's ~~hopefully only a bit~~ bad, I know. I might try first person next post if you don't mind, maybe a hallucination... idk, but I'll try something else to make it better.

Lyrics ~ Leave My Body by Florence + The Machine
Graphics by the lovely Onyx

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Last Edit: Dec 30, 2012 23:12:10 GMT -5 by Spesh

semper
Retired Staff

2,354 POSTS
last seen Jan 1, 2014 0:57:11 GMT -5

Cutting Wheel | [Semper] Jan 29, 2013 11:13:05 GMT -5

Post by semper on Jan 29, 2013 11:13:05 GMT -5

Things have been so different since Haff died. Things don’t quite seem as perky and wholesome as they used to be. Believe it or not, even though he and I didn’t talk very often, just his presence was enough to satisfy me – and now there’s quite an empty void around the barn. There’s been times where I’ve turned the corner and fully expected to see Haff standing outside Anima’s stall and petting her, talking to her as if she was talking back to him, but he never was. Those days are often the hardest.

But we’ve gotten by. I feel like none of my siblings are as affected by his death as I am, but then again I wouldn’t really expect them to be. They thought he was nothing more than just a laborer and that’s exactly how they treated him. He was hardly allowed to perform in shows like we were, us “competent” ones. I always hated it when they treated him like he was an idiot; obviously they never observed him while he treated the horses like they were his own kin.

[/color] He practically trained Anima all by himself and she was just the sweetest thing ever. He really deserved her, and for that reason I don’t regret shooting her so they can be together again.

It’s one of those mornings again – one of the painful ones. I roll out of bed and head straight for the barn to feed and groom the horses. I keep telling myself to not expect to see Haff but I still do, and as I turn the corner I see Anima’s vacant stall. Years later and it still hurts.[/color] I shake my head and quickly go about my morning tasks, then take off toward town.

Ma had said just yesterday that we needed cheese and eggs, and when I had suggested we just buy a chicken or two, she scowled and told me to go to the market, grumbling about something like the horses getting all the money and how I don’t understand finances. I don’t, really, but then again I don’t really care about money.

I take the back roads, avoiding all the cluster of folk in the town. As I turn to take another road I spot a girl slumped down against a wall. Odd.[/color] I pause, watching her. She doesn’t appear to be moving and that worries me. Images of Haff’s lifeless body flicker across my mind and that quickly prompts me to go over to her.

”Hey, are you alright?” I ask hesitantly, gently nudging her with my foot.
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((S'all good ^^ ))
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Last Edit: Jan 29, 2013 11:13:57 GMT -5 by semper

i hear the mountains calling me home