Will you be my friend?{Kate}
Dec 6, 2013 19:57:08 GMT -5
Post by Anna Banana on Dec 6, 2013 19:57:08 GMT -5
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[/size]How long has it been since I lost Stirling? One month, two months, it's impossible to keep track of something like that, the only thing that remains a constant reminder that she was ever a part of my life is the dull ache in my heart when I see her at school or when I see her with someone else. It took so long to get over that, it took so long for me to adjust to a life that she was no longer part of. I can't decide what hurts more though, the dull ache that lingers in my heart or the fact that I allowed it to happen, that I got over her enough to let it settle into nothing more than a dull ache.
I think that it's that I forgot her. I haven't forgotten her, that she is still somewhere locked away inside my heart waiting to burst out, and take me away in a tidal wave of emotions that will lead me out into the sea where I will get lost. It would probably be better if I did get lost though, I feel like I'm only barely making it through life right now, stuck between a reality where I'm with Stirling and one where I have to cope without her. Perhaps that's why I wander the beaches of District 4, hoping that the current will take me away. I've never felt more alone than I feel now, I feel like the one shining spot in my life was taken away from me when Stirling left me.
I've never been one to fall into the habits of drinking or drugs or abuse or anything, but if there was ever a time I felt like starting it would be now. I just...I see Stirling everywhere I look and it hurts me to see her in the face of everyone. I wish I could just fall in love already, I wish that someone would come along and spare me from the torment that is a broken heart. Is that so much to ask for, is that truly the thing that I want but can't have...release? I won't ever find someone like Stirling, but I might be able to find someone who can make that ache go away, someone who will be a friend like she was.
Slowly I sunk into the sand and drew my knees up to my chest, staring out across the ocean. It was so free, without a care in the world, no matter how many boats it smashed or people it killed and broke the hearts of...it never changed. Part of me wished I could be that unfeeling, to continue on with my life as if nothing had happened. I knew that wouldn't happen though, and I was stuck until that person or thing came along that could break the spell that was put over me the day I met Stirling.
For Axel[/blockquote][/font]
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Credit to the amazing Zoe for this graphic <3