Sleeping Alone?{Kiah}
Dec 18, 2013 11:13:58 GMT -5
Post by Anna Banana on Dec 18, 2013 11:13:58 GMT -5
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[/size]For months I would cry myself to sleep at the memory of the man I was supposed to marry. It was a marriage I didn't want to be part of to begin with, one that was forced on me for the benefit of my own family. I won't lie, after a little while I came to love the man because she truly did care about me and love me. The marriage wasn't my favorite idea in the whole world, but I consented to it none the less, moving out of my house with my family to live in the woods in a house built by my husband. It was better then my own home, built with love and care, almost as if the design was made for me.
You see I'm a naturally shy person, scared of almost anything and anyone, and it takes a long time for me to trust anyone. I'll always remember that first night with my husband where I elected to sleep on the floor instead of in the large bed that he had selected just for us. It was rude of me to leave him like that, we were married, but I didn't trust him, it was my opinion that all boys
I didn't have his warmth anymore, I had just the black silence that settled around me like a blanket. My movements throughout the house were all but robotic, I didn't have any care in the world, I was back to how I was before. Oh how I craved release, to jump out the window and just let it end, but I knew he wouldn't like that, he would want me to live. The best I could give him was this robot that I am now, I felt no need to put any more effort into things. At least it wasn't giving up, not in the sense that I was killing myself, at least I was alive. I just wasn't going to put more effort then was necessary into it.
Sleeping was perhaps the most painful part of the day, having to curl up and pretend that there was a warm arm draped over me and keeping me safe. It's something I'll never be able to get over, missing his warmth and the whispers of affection that would fall upon my ears as sleep overtook me. Slowly I slip into my t-shirt, an oversized t-shirt that he had given me, and crawl into bed, my arm automatically resting over the slight dent in the bed that he used to occupy. It took a long time, tears sliding from the corners of my tired eyes, but eventually I fell asleep, in the most peaceful state I ever was...in sleep.
For Axel[/blockquote][/font]
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