Post by arya on May 8, 2014 15:31:03 GMT -5
M A G N O L I A H A R E D I S T R I C T 1 2 T W E L V E Y E A R S O L D | "MAGGIE"
As I started getting my breath under control, I could hear his bottle smashing to the floor. He started screaming, not even words just screaming out load. His screamed died in to painful muttering, before he started cursing. He said he was going to find me, then he started saying all the horrible things he was going to do to me. I already knew it, but he usually told me anyways, just to scare me. He made his point; I had gotten scared a long time ago. I’m always scared now. I never been that tense before, the sound from the breaking glass shocked me. I almost let a little scream escape my lips, but I manage keeping it in. With my lips wide open, I managed breathing almost completely silently. My pulse was raising, but I couldn’t let myself panic. I let my feelings stream down my face in form of those salted teardrops that I couldn’t keep in. My tears had soaked my shirt, and I started shivering from the cold. I knew he was looking for me, so I couldn’t allow myself to leave my hiding place. This was the night he was supposed to kill me, and I knew it. He would probably find me, eventually. I just couldn’t collect the courage to face him. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to die, because dying couldn’t possibly be worse than the hell I was living. I was scared of the pain, because it always hurt so badly. My knees were already bruised, for god sake my entire body was. I’m weak from being undernourished, because he never let me eat enough. He had been torturing me for years, and I never even knew why. But tonight it was all going to end. From nowhere, I felt that tickling feeling from the deeps of my chest. I tried choking it, I held my breath in raw panic. I couldn’t let it out. But my body started to clench together into cramps. And from my lungs, a silent little cough snuck out. I knew I from that second that I had lost. It was over, and there was nothing I could do to save myself. A few loud footsteps was the last thing I heard, before the cabinet door slammed open.
Sometimes, I feel like I want to tell them what really happened, maybe that’ll help them understanding me. But as fast as I decide to try, I realize I’m totally incapable of social encounters. I get nervous and stressed out, and from that point nothing good ever comes out of my mouth. Sometimes, I keep telling people unnecessary details they already know, like that its sunny outside. Either that or I just stay completely silent, staring at them. Whichever of my two awkward ways of being social I use, nothing good ever comes out of it. I am more of the silent type. I’m a hard thinker and I am really good at solving problems, but nobody will ever know. I'll never show anyone my true me. Never again. I'll swear by it |