ghosts of the past { anna }
May 19, 2014 0:54:25 GMT -5
Post by k!ah on May 19, 2014 0:54:25 GMT -5
AUGUSTUSO'SULLIVAN
How long had I been on my own now? Trying to push through life eating almost nothing because I was useless and pathetic. I had grown thinner, my bones sticking out of my flesh as I hobbled down the empty alleyway, the sour of dripping water following in my wake. I was so tired, my whole body felt like one giant bruise and all I had done was walk down to the end of the street in hopes that anyone would give me so money, some food, anything. I had been lucky today, a child had seen me, she has seen me around often and she new that I had cancer and was dying, she had begged her mother to give me something. Now, tucked away under my free arm was a loaf of bread. I had thanked them profusely and the little girl had then given me a hug and told me to be careful, to keep my he'd held high. I had almost broken down into tears right there and then. It was children like her that reminded me that this world still had decent people, people who cared about others and who hated to see pain.
It takes me almost twenty minutes to get to the place which I had called my home for years now. It was just an alley way hidden from the eyes of the public. The stones wall were cold and covered in moss. The ground was damp and as cold as ice, but everything about it was familiar and the only thing I had left to remind me of the family that had promised me that they would never leave. Huh. If I had known they were lying back then, maybe things would be different. Maybe I wouldn't be so miserable, maybe I would be dead. Buy now, as I enter the alleyway there is no sound to be heard. No one was home, no one was ever home. They were bot gone, the only two people in the world that I had actually trusted were gone.
I remember when Lexi had been there for me. I knew that I had made this difficult for her. After all I just wanted to help, but whenever I actually tried to do something I would only make things worse and she would end up having to work much harder to fix my mistakes. “I have always been there for you.” She had née said to me, but where were you now? Where were you when I needed you the most? That day going to the hospital hadn't been the day that I had needed you. Over the past fe months I had needed you but you were no where to be seen. You had lied to me back then. You were always here for me. I feel my throat begin to burn as I fight back the tears that formed in my eyes. Where were you know?
I had no idea if she was alive, or if she was dead, I knew nothing apart from walking up one mooring to find that she was gone. Just like Annie. At first I had thought she was just working, that she would be home by night- but if not then definitely tomorrow. But days and nights passed and I was left by myself in the alley way, no shin of her long hair of emceeing blue eyes. Just like that she left me. Not even a good bye. Nothing. Nothing at all. Pushing back the tears I stop in my tracks, my hart racing, my vision blurry. I tried to tell myself that I hated her, that I hated her and what she did, but no matter how many times I repeated it my feelings didn't change. I still loved her, and I missed her and I begged to rip red that she would come home. I wanted nothing more than to see her again, to see her comforting smile- it didn't even need to be a smile, her face could be filled wit rage and I would still feel happy. Still feel somewhat at ease.
Hastily I pull myself back together, my footsteps finally reaching my destination. I move to place my loaf of bread down upon a newspaper that I used as a table when my eyes catch the familiar figure of the person that I could only dream of seeing. She stood tall, her blond hair falling around her shoulder. I freeze, the bred slipping from between my fingers my eyes growing wide in surprise. I was seeing things, I tell myself and I rub my eyes hoping that it would rid myself of the image of the person in front of me, but when I dropped my hands she was still there.
“Lexi….?” I ask quietly, my whole body not filling with happiness but raging anger.
