Consternation with an impulse [Carbon Leisure, day 7]

It happened again - a third time.

I was stronger in the beginning to keep Sorrel from witnessing the wrath that I might unleash upon the animal, and as horrible as I felt, I ended its suffering before it made either of us into a distant memory. Same with Luke at the time when I felt compelled to get to Sorrel and he wouldn't get out of my way. I had to do what I thought was necessary in order to survive, to protect someone that I cared for. Those that I always cared for always got the better side of me and now I realize how far that caring goes -

Again, with thoughts of my family, friends and my ally, it summoned something deeper inside of me that the game makers couldn't take away from me. It was my drive to make sure that I was able to save one more life, but if that life wasn't Sorrel's to save and Argon's chance was given years ago, who else could be left?

Who was I truly supposed to save at this point?

It wasn't mine, as it was so apparent as I watched the weapon take a final blow against my opponent in a gut wrenching blow.

My head swam with dizziness as the blood loss started to capture my essence and I knew If I didn't do something about it now, I would die before I even got a chance to see what my real purpose was in life.

"I'm sorry - I didn't even know your name." I stumbled backwards and the whine from Tux caught my ears as he slowed my descent to the ground and I reach into my bag for the bandages that I would desperately need and I began to think of all the procedures there was for an accidental limb sever. There was no change of saving the limb, as the games were no where near finished and my main goal was to staunch the flow, cauterize the wound and pray that it didn't lead to infection like the last wound I got.

"I got nothing left - nothing." I find my voice and wrap my arm tightly, putting pressure around the stump and used the bandages to act as a tourniquet and then pressing firmly against the end. Tux sniffed my hair and nudged my neck. I leaned my head against him as well and for a moment while I caught my breath.

I felt his warm fur and it send an air of calm around me. A gentle sigh taught me to do the same.

If I was going to survive any longer, I would need to think logically and rationally and I pulled out my thermos and the firewood and started a fire with my left hand. I needed heat and fluids to replace the blood loss. It was hard, being right handed and now that option was limiting my abilities and a chilling thought erupted -

How can I practice medicine without a hand?

That was the least of my worries though. There was still three of us left according to the amount of cannons I heard.